Fantasyhumor Stories

In a fantasy world, where magic has faded and technology has burgeoned, Glark Underbrick, a goblin wizard who runs an unsuccessful magical bookshop, is resigned to magic becoming little more than a memory. Until one day he takes possession of another wizard's library and accidentally summons a god. When the god says that magic can be restored, Glark undertakes to do just that, only he needs to earn money in the meantime as restoring magic, and the god, to their full power may take a while. When a young dwarven girl becomes Glark's assistant, it leads to Glark diversifying, dealing with the local witch, town authorities, and a cadre of wizards out to find out where Glark is getting his new-found powers. From the local fête, to a book festival and a host of holiday makers wanting their dream holidays to come true, Glark has a lot on his hands, but can he manage to bring everything under control, or will it become nothing but a disaster? The first book in the 'Cucumber Sands' series.

💧 REBORN AS A SLIME HERO Book One: From Blob to Legend He died in front of his PC. Now he's squishy, squelchy... and possibly the world's last hope. Jin didn't expect to wake up as a blob of goo in a monster-infested dungeon. No hands. No sword. Just "Absorb," "Squelch," and way too much sarcasm. He thought this would be a bad isekai. Instead, he: Accidentally impresses a demon lord Gets adopted by his dangerously stabby daughter Builds a slime-themed empire And discovers he might be a reincarnated piece of a forgotten god. Now the world wants him dead, worshipped... or both. And all Jin wants is to survive long enough to find snacks and avoid turning evil.

In a world where mythical creatures go to high school, Luna Tanggol, a 17-year-old girl from a long line of manananggals, is trying to survive two things: being half-monster and passing senior year. She's never actually hunted anyone (she's vegan-kind of), hates flying because of motion sickness, and is terrified of blood. Worse, she's supposed to learn the "ancient art of torso-separation" before her 18th birthday or lose her family's powers forever. With a talking pet tiktik, a TikTok-famous kapre, and a best friend who's a half-duwende barista, Luna's about to find out that being supernatural doesn't make high school any easier-especially when a mysterious boy who hunts aswang enrolls as the new transfer student.

After the extermination of the entire royal family by terrible monsters, only the newborn heir to the throne miraculously survives. But the evil fate still overtakes the already impoverished 14-year-old mute boy from the gloomy Middle Ages, mercilessly dumping him into the seething spring river. His almost lifeless body is now inhabited by a successful businessman and a martial arts champion who has long abandoned his career. Lethal fights, cruel rulers, treacherous enemies and loyal friends, as well as the newfound reckless youth and incredible abilities, are just the few things that await our contemporary in the body of a skinny, universally persecuted mute teenager from a very poor family, who is making ends meet... "Very interesting book! Read it in one sitting» I caught adrenaline, as if I climbed this arena! Thank you very much!" «The fights, moves and monologues of Koti are described beautifully. The text is easy to read, the actions of the heroes are vividly presented. Very interesting!" "Bravo! Undoubtedly, this is an amazing book! I have no other opinion! I can not give any other rating than the highest. Super author!"

He smirked at her, 'you never really were one to curse. Even now, you still refuse to do so.' as he said this, he creeped closer to Hermione, making her step backwards and into the wall. He was so close to her, she could feel his hot yet icy breath on her skin. 'I think we both know what I'm gonna do to you right now.' Hermione, with her gaping mouth and wide eyes, was unresponsive. 'Since you clearly don't know, I'll just tell you.' he brought the wand to her face, 'I don't want you telling anyone of what you saw or did last night with me.' *** The rules in Hogwarts changed during the beginning of the Golden trio's fifth year. Such as, there can only be one prefect per house. Either a girl or a boy can be voted per house. Ron and Hermione go head on toe to win that prefects badge, befriending each other. But what happens when Malfoy gets in the way of everything that Hermione worked so hard for to rebuild her friendships? Or will she just have to make new ones? BEWARE! You're about to read a bad ass story right here. Just know that I don't take hate. Mainly because I don't care. Bad words, bad content, and bad grammar are exclusive, so if you're not up for it... well bye This story takes place in the golden trios fifth year and migrates from one character POV to the next. But don't worry, it's amazing and you're gonna love it. P.S. Most of the characters belong to ma gurl J.K. Rowling... But I also make up some names as I write. Also, the plot is mine.

There's nothing more dangerous than a book, especially in the wrong hands. And, in this world of magic, wars and an alarming number of self-serving, gratuitously selfish people, there are a lot of wrong hands to take advantage. When the world's foremost mage, Anpound Pudbatter (fresh from a magical accident that had turned him back into a teenager with all the associated raging hormones) meets Gammer Goodhiding, the world's most polite, yet indefinably terrifying witch, and Bindi, a Druid who almost has a filthy mouth, they come together to search for an object that could very well spell the end of the world as they know it. Or change it in ways they cannot imagine. From the intermittently high Mount Pintel, to the vast, unending Library, to the indeterminately located city of Lost Vagueness, where hope, and Coin, go to wallow in despair, to the world's most important, prominent, and tiniest city, the three of them must follow the magical chaos wrought by the presence of the book. And with warlords bent on conquest, thieves out for a quick score and a djinn with a mischievous attention to detail in the way, things may not go quite according to plan. And what, exactly, is the origin of the book? Only The Archivist's All-knowing Almanac knows for sure. A love-letter to the works of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. The first novel of the ongoing Discworld inspired series.

When a desperate barista walks into Sawyer & Associates, she brings more than a bad employment contract-she brings a curse. Joseph Sawyer, mortal lawyer with a knack for supernatural loopholes, and Theron Brightflame, exiled Prince of the Summer Court, take the case. Their mission: prove that a fae contract binding Mira West "until the moon dies" has already expired. In a city where glamour hides monsters behind espresso machines and legal documents can kill, the partners must outwit a Winter Court prince, navigate Accord law, and keep their client alive long enough to collect her payout. Sawyer & Associates: We fight the fae print.

[Book Ten of the "Patrons' World" series.] Niico Fastiano's latest scheme to enrich himself had come to an ignominious, and surprisingly painless, end. Not one to let small things, like getting thrown out of an upper story window, get in the way of his attempts to make coin, he takes on the job to escort a pair of unlikely siblings, Akafa (a man with a body that physically perfect marble statues can only envy) and Herit (a child with only a passing association with reality), across the country of Larissa. Along with long-time collaborator, Pelenia, and Antioni, a love-sick man that Niico can't seem to brush off, and he does try, they travel the lands pretending to be a troupe of entertainers as Niico tries to perfect a song that will resonate through the ages. Or not, due to several distractions. Distractions such as a cult of violent priests chasing Akafa and Herit, a family that have a less than legitimate, but quite understandable, disagreement with him, a penis festival, several spears pointing at his face and water that appears to have a personal grudge against Niico. Niico, however, is nothing but determined. Especially with the promise of a fat reward. Except he's not quite certain he'll survive long enough to spend it. The 10th novel set within the sprawling fantasy "Patrons' World". Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture.

The Snow Princess and the Forgotten Throne In a kingdom where sorrow calls the snow, a forgotten princess unknowingly lives as a warrior, her past stolen by a cunning imposter. With only her mischievous pet bunny, Mochi, by her side, Amara stumbles into a grand festival-one that should have been hers all along. But when a monstrous demon attacks, revealing the truth hidden in her blood, she must wield a sacred blade that only the real princess can command. With wit, courage, and an unexpected amount of dessert theft, Amara reclaims her destiny, proving that no matter how lost you are, the truth will always find its way home. A whimsical and heart-touching tale filled with humor, adventure, and the magic of self-discovery.

When a mage is found dead, and, at a rough measurement, at least a head shorter, the only clue to his fate lies in the key gripped in his hand. A very magical key that sets the leaders in the Guild of Mages, Prestidigitators, Illusionists and General Wielders of Magic (not including Witches) in a bit of a quandary, because none of them want to touch it. Thus, the investigation is left in the thoroughly incapable hands of the three mages in the highly dangerous, very almost deadly on a daily basis, Thaumatological Gubbins Department of the Guild. Accompanied by a young(ish, these are mages after all) member of the Guild tasked with recording the progress of the investigation, the three mages set out on a perilous journey that will involve several belligerent doors, a three cart race, and, probably, a number of people wondering what the Hel is going on and why one of the mages continues to shout 'Power!' at every opportunity. An ONC novella like no other. The third novella of the ongoing Discworld inspired series.

What happens when a closeted lesbian fairy tale princess falls in love with a witch instead of the handsome prince she's destined to marry? This is Mary Melancholy's story. The rules of being a fairy tale princess are simple: 1. Always overdress. 2. Always play to win. 3. Share with those less fortunate. 4. Stay true to yourself. 5. And for heaven's sake NEVER fall in love with a WITCH! Princess Mary Melancholy has no idea how to be happy. Self-conscious and socially awkward, all she really wants is to believe in something the way everyone else does. Her royal troubles abound since she's engaged to be married as part of a peace treaty between two warring kings and has a weird habit of singing out in public. Mary meets a witch named Salem who is cantankerous, bawdy, and banned from the land because of her evil intentions. But when Salem accidentally kisses the princess and they both feel a spark of attraction, a forbidden romance begins that threatens the future of two kingdoms. Will Mary choose love and scandalize the family as The Evil Princess or accept responsibility and protect her people? This self-contained story is a fractured fairy tale and tragic parody, with socially awkward characters, and an emotional roller coaster of an ending. If you like dark comedy novels, horror-fantasy, and fairy tale political satire, The Evil Princess will cast a spell on you! ADVISORY: Although a comedy novel, The End of the Magical Kingdom also contains graphic violence, harsh scenes of emotional trauma, and controversial subject matter.

Destiny- Lvl 32 Knight. the size of a toddler. not litertally but it seems like it. she's short. Lovable and nice, her favorite thing is kisses. she would kiss anyone. Except a hive of bees? Josh- Lvl 31 Healer. a good guy. He's really nice and really excitable, with a literal heart of gold. cut him open if you want man, it's fuckin there and it's FUCKIN WILD. Marley- Lvl 30 Summoner- Who is she. Honestly. A real meme, says "Bees?" A lot and thinks it's hilarious. optimistic even though her favorite thing to say is "When will death claim me." A trio of adventurers on a quest to get to the wishing star, a place where they can make one wish. one chance to make their dreams come true. Of course, it's never gonna happen because their daily lives consist of; Almost dying, getting eaten by various monsters (mostly Dess), fighting 200 bees, Eating an entire jar of mayo for 20 gold, Falling off of cliffs on purpose, and constantly asking stupid questions ("Bees?" LMAO).

**Finalist of The Mages Guild Award for Creative Writing** ***** The King is dead. The country has descended into chaos. Sir Ambrose once had his choice of the greatest heroes to command. What he has been lumbered with are: a wizard with no control over his ability to make fire, a thief with broken hands, and the Duchess of Danefield who is clearly an orc in a dress. Thankfully, Sir Ambrose has a plan. He just can't remember what it was. Map by: https://www.reddit.com/u/chevellure/s/vwmCvHDndr

[ONC 2024 Longlister] The heir to the kingdom has been kidnapped! Many great and powerful adventurers have tried to find him and bring him back to the loving arms of his father. Unfortunately, though great and powerful, they are also very much pitiful failures. When Luthiriensis, an elven tourist, and Mott, a perpetually aggrieved dwarf, are recruited by a mysterious patron to find the child, they soon find themselves in far more trouble than they could ever have imagined. Also, their recruiter is a dragon. So there's that to deal with too. An ONC novella based upon Prompt 21 - A dragon, an elf, and a dwarf embark on a quest to find the lost heir to the kingdom. Formerly "A Tale of Three". Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture and text through Logokit.

Wilmuh Tremblerod knew from a young age that she would become the world's greatest playwright. Unfortunately, the world, and her talent (or lack of it) disagreed. Until one day, Linus, a young and relatively untrained muse finds her in a bar and inspires her to great things. Of course, she isn't the person he intended inspiring, but everyone makes mistakes. With the subsequent loss of Linus' powers, Willmuh's ability to write compelling and mesmerising plays runs out of control and an alarming number of people decide that Wilmuh has become some literary god, meaning that her very creativity becomes a danger to the world. When a competition is announced to find the kingdom's greatest entertainers, Wilmuh chooses to use her new-found talents to seal her place in history. But with rival entertainers and people in authority rallying against her, Wilmuh may find it harder to achieve than she first thought, and her troupe of wayward and strange thespians may not be able to stop the world from falling under her accidental-spell. And there are faeries, too. But watch out for them, they're really shady. Contains a gratuitous and shameless parody of a Doctor Who episode. I'm not even sorry. The second novel of the ongoing Discworld inspired series.

An epic road trip featuring such things as: murder, complex solutions to simple problems (ie: murder), committing crimes (including, but not limited to: murder), team building activities (murder), a thirty litre bottle of soda, and several epic fights for justice (resulting in murder). In this adventure I am joined by a retired detective obsessed with beavers, a mechanic with significant insight into the supernatural, a young gamer with paralysed hands, and my wife.

Kai Morita is minding his own business-specifically, a cup of instant noodles-when a blinding circle of magic yoinks him into a throne room full of expectations. The royal appraisal declares him talentless, the court hands him a pouch of pity gold, and the "chosen" heroes move on without him. Which is fine by Kai. He'd rather find a quiet bed, a cheap breakfast, and a rooftop with a sunset. It's a good plan-at least until life decides otherwise.

Flash fiction contest hosted by @LayethTheSmackdown along with @flashfic and @Ooorah.

"Wilkynn Geodonna believed everything she heard. Every fragment of lie, every grain of truth, and every joking exaggeration. She was surrounded by truth, and nothing in between. No grey area. Not even black and white. Only white. Only perfection." Wilky's life is perfect until her wealthy family is kidnapped to be sold into slavery, and Wilky's fiancee, Destin is torn away from her. Out in an unforgiving world on her own, Wilky must find her way to the land of Lorea, which seems like a lonely and impossible journey until she meets the eccentric, go-lucky wizard, Casey Caster, the grumpy and mysterious (yet beautiful) Thea, and the wanted mercenary, Helewis Bronsky. This story will be updated on Tuesdays and Fridays with a new chapter! I also have a fantasy short story, called Death's Waterfall, and a collection of poems!