Fantasyhumor Stories

**Finalist of The Mages Guild Award for Creative Writing** ***** The King is dead. The country has descended into chaos. Sir Ambrose once had his choice of the greatest heroes to command. What he has been lumbered with are: a wizard with no control over his ability to make fire, a thief with broken hands, and the Duchess of Danefield who is clearly an orc in a dress. Thankfully, Sir Ambrose has a plan. He just can't remember what it was. Map by: https://www.reddit.com/u/chevellure/s/vwmCvHDndr

When a mage is found dead, and, at a rough measurement, at least a head shorter, the only clue to his fate lies in the key gripped in his hand. A very magical key that sets the leaders in the Guild of Mages, Prestidigitators, Illusionists and General Wielders of Magic (not including Witches) in a bit of a quandary, because none of them want to touch it. Thus, the investigation is left in the thoroughly incapable hands of the three mages in the highly dangerous, very almost deadly on a daily basis, Thaumatological Gubbins Department of the Guild. Accompanied by a young(ish, these are mages after all) member of the Guild tasked with recording the progress of the investigation, the three mages set out on a perilous journey that will involve several belligerent doors, a three cart race, and, probably, a number of people wondering what the Hel is going on and why one of the mages continues to shout 'Power!' at every opportunity. An ONC novella like no other.

Politics is a cutthroat game, but when you're dead, it doesn't matter what they cut. And it is a dirty game, filled with the kind of people that think nothing of ruining an opponent's life, but few go so far as throwing their counterparts through windows. When Balmy Bymeadow is improbably murdered, his son, Myld, is forced to carry on his father's legacy, but, in order to do so, he must take the unprecedented course of keeping his dead father around. Aided by Finella, a uniquely talented taxidermist, her sister, Flinda, a self-appointed Fairly Gods-Mother, and Phibber Monkshot, a wily and incredibly competent civil servant, in his corner, Myld must navigate the torrid waters of politics, deal with his surprisingly mobile dead father, avoid several near-death experiences and learn what it requires to get elected in a city where politics is quite literally a life or death struggle. With a pinch of 'Yes, Minister', a dash of 'The Walking Dead', and a heaped spoonful of 'Discworld'.

When a fellow witch is accused of a heinous crime, Rowburta Copperbottom. A witch of minimal magical ability but a thirst for knowledge, must investigate the allegations and then prove at a trial the innocence of her colleague. But, with mysterious enemies trying to thwart her at every turn, Rowburta must rely on far more than her witchly magics to aid her in a race against time to prove that justice isn't just blind, but not averse to a little monetary tipping of the scales, either. Rowburta has more than magic to help, she has the lore. A tale in the Terry Pratchett inspired Godworld, where people are about to meet the world's first Witch Loreyer. An ONC novella, based on Prompt 14: "Not everyone in your coven becomes a witch doctor. But you? You are the witch lawyer and take care of the mystical laws of the magical world."

He smirked at her, 'you never really were one to curse. Even now, you still refuse to do so.' as he said this, he creeped closer to Hermione, making her step backwards and into the wall. He was so close to her, she could feel his hot yet icy breath on her skin. 'I think we both know what I'm gonna do to you right now.' Hermione, with her gaping mouth and wide eyes, was unresponsive. 'Since you clearly don't know, I'll just tell you.' he brought the wand to her face, 'I don't want you telling anyone of what you saw or did last night with me.' *** The rules in Hogwarts changed during the beginning of the Golden trio's fifth year. Such as, there can only be one prefect per house. Either a girl or a boy can be voted per house. Ron and Hermione go head on toe to win that prefects badge, befriending each other. But what happens when Malfoy gets in the way of everything that Hermione worked so hard for to rebuild her friendships? Or will she just have to make new ones? BEWARE! You're about to read a bad ass story right here. Just know that I don't take hate. Mainly because I don't care. Bad words, bad content, and bad grammar are exclusive, so if you're not up for it... well bye This story takes place in the golden trios fifth year and migrates from one character POV to the next. But don't worry, it's amazing and you're gonna love it. P.S. Most of the characters belong to ma gurl J.K. Rowling... But I also make up some names as I write. Also, the plot is mine.

Zara was just trying to procrastinate. Instead, she summoned a demon boyfriend using ketchup and sarcasm. Now Asmodeus is burning her toast, flirting with her professors, and threatening to curse her entire town if she breaks his heart. Love wasn't part of the plan. But neither was eternal pigeon divorce. A rom-com one-shot with supernatural spice, snarky banter, and a demon who just wants to make breakfast.

An epic road trip featuring such things as: murder, complex solutions to simple problems (ie: murder), committing crimes (including, but not limited to: murder), team building activities (murder), a thirty litre bottle of soda, and several epic fights for justice (resulting in murder). In this adventure I am joined by a retired detective obsessed with beavers, a mechanic with significant insight into the supernatural, a young gamer with paralysed hands, and my wife.

"Wilkynn Geodonna believed everything she heard. Every fragment of lie, every grain of truth, and every joking exaggeration. She was surrounded by truth, and nothing in between. No grey area. Not even black and white. Only white. Only perfection." Wilky's life is perfect until her wealthy family is kidnapped to be sold into slavery, and Wilky's fiancee, Destin is torn away from her. Out in an unforgiving world on her own, Wilky must find her way to the land of Lorea, which seems like a lonely and impossible journey until she meets the eccentric, go-lucky wizard, Casey Caster, the grumpy and mysterious (yet beautiful) Thea, and the wanted mercenary, Helewis Bronsky. This story will be updated on Tuesdays and Fridays with a new chapter! I also have a fantasy short story, called Death's Waterfall, and a collection of poems!

What happens when a closeted lesbian fairy tale princess falls in love with a witch instead of the handsome prince she's destined to marry? This is Mary Melancholy's story. The rules of being a fairy tale princess are simple: 1. Always overdress. 2. Always play to win. 3. Share with those less fortunate. 4. Stay true to yourself. 5. And for heaven's sake NEVER fall in love with a WITCH! Princess Mary Melancholy has no idea how to be happy. Self-conscious and socially awkward, all she really wants is to believe in something the way everyone else does. Her royal troubles abound since she's engaged to be married as part of a peace treaty between two warring kings and has a weird habit of singing out in public. Mary meets a witch named Salem who is cantankerous, bawdy, and banned from the land because of her evil intentions. But when Salem accidentally kisses the princess and they both feel a spark of attraction, a forbidden romance begins that threatens the future of two kingdoms. Will Mary choose love and scandalize the family as The Evil Princess or accept responsibility and protect her people? This self-contained story is a fractured fairy tale and tragic parody, with socially awkward characters, and an emotional roller coaster of an ending. If you like dark comedy novels, horror-fantasy, and fairy tale political satire, The Evil Princess will cast a spell on you! ADVISORY: Although a comedy novel, The End of the Magical Kingdom also contains graphic violence, harsh scenes of emotional trauma, and controversial subject matter.

Two friends slip between worlds-each more bizarre than the last. From talking moons to bureaucratic dragons, they stumble through chaos, confusion, and cosmic nonsense, learning a bit about friendship (and a lot about interdimensional weirdness) along the way. It's not a very serious tale-just a light, humor-filled romp through the absurdity of the multiverse.

[Book Ten of the "Patrons' World" series.] Niico Fastiano's latest scheme to enrich himself had come to an ignominious, and surprisingly painless, end. Not one to let small things, like getting thrown out of an upper story window, get in the way of his attempts to make coin, he takes on the job to escort a pair of unlikely siblings, Akafa (a man with a body that physically perfect marble statues can only envy) and Herit (a child with only a passing association with reality), across the country of Larissa. Along with long-time collaborator, Pelenia, and Antioni, a love-sick man that Niico can't seem to brush off, and he does try, they travel the lands pretending to be a troupe of entertainers as Niico tries to perfect a song that will resonate through the ages. Or not, due to several distractions. Distractions such as a cult of violent priests chasing Akafa and Herit, a family that have a less than legitimate, but quite understandable, disagreement with him, a penis festival, several spears pointing at his face and water that appears to have a personal grudge against Niico. Niico, however, is nothing but determined. Especially with the promise of a fat reward. Except he's not quite certain he'll survive long enough to spend it. The 10th novel set within the sprawling fantasy "Patrons' World". Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture.

Part 1 - Embracing the Light Who would have thought Kat's life would be thrown into chaos because of a book? As an object, it was so unassuming. The cover certainly did nothing to advertise the events that would follow after she happily received it. Now all she could think of was how she wanted to destroy the blasted thing. But did she really? Because in the chaos she discovered something precious. Part 2 - Chasing the Dark Kai and Kat return to the place of their stories beginning when trouble brews in the six realms. They begin a journey of discovery, friendship, adventure, and scariest of all, love.

Co-authored by Kathleen McClure & Kelley McKinnon In the distant future, on the planet Fortune, tech is low and the price of doing business dangerously steep... Six years ago, a single act of rebellion cost Captain John Pitte his command and his honor. Now all his hopes rest in keeping his crew-in particular his first mate, Jagati O'Bannion-together, and their battered airship aloft. But John soon discovers that running an honest freight business is not for the faint of heart. Between pirates, storms, taxes, and bees (don't ask), the Errant is in danger of being grounded-for good. So when a mysterious woman offers salvation by way of a lucrative retrieval job, John quickly signs on, only to discover that neither the job, nor the woman, are what they appear. Now John, Jagati, and the rest of the crew are on the run and embroiled in a hive of madness and deception, while everything he hoped to save teeters on the brink of disaster. Outrageous Fortune is first book of the Errant Freight series, introducing the outrageous exploits of the Errant crew. If you like your action with a side of snark, you'll love this free-wheeling mashup of science fantasy, steampunk, and adventure. Perfrect for fans of Firefly and Killjoys.

[Complete.] A fairy tale retelling of Grimm's Joringel and Jorinda crossed with the Golden Goose, the tale of a young man on a quest to rescue his lady is turned on its head when two sprites show up to "help."

I woke up expecting my plain white ceiling. Instead, I got a medieval roof full of creepy runes, a missing pillow... and a dangerously attractive, one-eyed man with fangs calling me "author." Somehow, I've been dropped inside my own fantasy novel - the one where the hero is supposed to die to save the world. Except my so-called "Chosen One," Arion Vale, refuses. Now, with three days before the entire kingdom turns to stone, I have to convince my stubborn hero to complete the ritual... or I'll be trapped in my own story forever. Oh, and the villain I created? He's here too - and he knows exactly how much trouble I'm in. It's my plot. My world. My characters. ...So why does it feel like I'm the one about to lose?

A heartwarming comedy about life, love, and a ghost with unfinished business. College was supposed to be Ethan Hale's fresh start, but between failing grades and the pressure to make his family proud, he's slowly falling apart. Then he meets Iryne-a carefree, mischievous girl who always knows exactly when he needs a break. The catch? She's a ghost. As Ethan grows closer to her, he starts to uncover the truth about her past. But some mysteries are harder to face than others, and finding the truth might just change everything.🤔

In a world where mythical creatures go to high school, Luna Tanggol, a 17-year-old girl from a long line of manananggals, is trying to survive two things: being half-monster and passing senior year. She's never actually hunted anyone (she's vegan-kind of), hates flying because of motion sickness, and is terrified of blood. Worse, she's supposed to learn the "ancient art of torso-separation" before her 18th birthday or lose her family's powers forever. With a talking pet tiktik, a TikTok-famous kapre, and a best friend who's a half-duwende barista, Luna's about to find out that being supernatural doesn't make high school any easier-especially when a mysterious boy who hunts aswang enrolls as the new transfer student.

💧 REBORN AS A SLIME HERO Book One: From Blob to Legend He died in front of his PC. Now he's squishy, squelchy... and possibly the world's last hope. Jin didn't expect to wake up as a blob of goo in a monster-infested dungeon. No hands. No sword. Just "Absorb," "Squelch," and way too much sarcasm. He thought this would be a bad isekai. Instead, he: Accidentally impresses a demon lord Gets adopted by his dangerously stabby daughter Builds a slime-themed empire And discovers he might be a reincarnated piece of a forgotten god. Now the world wants him dead, worshipped... or both. And all Jin wants is to survive long enough to find snacks and avoid turning evil.

Destiny- Lvl 32 Knight. the size of a toddler. not litertally but it seems like it. she's short. Lovable and nice, her favorite thing is kisses. she would kiss anyone. Except a hive of bees? Josh- Lvl 31 Healer. a good guy. He's really nice and really excitable, with a literal heart of gold. cut him open if you want man, it's fuckin there and it's FUCKIN WILD. Marley- Lvl 30 Summoner- Who is she. Honestly. A real meme, says "Bees?" A lot and thinks it's hilarious. optimistic even though her favorite thing to say is "When will death claim me." A trio of adventurers on a quest to get to the wishing star, a place where they can make one wish. one chance to make their dreams come true. Of course, it's never gonna happen because their daily lives consist of; Almost dying, getting eaten by various monsters (mostly Dess), fighting 200 bees, Eating an entire jar of mayo for 20 gold, Falling off of cliffs on purpose, and constantly asking stupid questions ("Bees?" LMAO).

The Snow Princess and the Forgotten Throne In a kingdom where sorrow calls the snow, a forgotten princess unknowingly lives as a warrior, her past stolen by a cunning imposter. With only her mischievous pet bunny, Mochi, by her side, Amara stumbles into a grand festival-one that should have been hers all along. But when a monstrous demon attacks, revealing the truth hidden in her blood, she must wield a sacred blade that only the real princess can command. With wit, courage, and an unexpected amount of dessert theft, Amara reclaims her destiny, proving that no matter how lost you are, the truth will always find its way home. A whimsical and heart-touching tale filled with humor, adventure, and the magic of self-discovery.