Occultcomedy Stories

Hermeitis returns to the alley where the soup once screamed, seeking an impossible artifact: a coin that never lands. The price? A sample of condensed ambiguity-property of the town alchemist. There, he meets an earnest apprentice named Aven, who insists on overseeing the transaction. It goes... well. Technically. No one died. The coin is obtained. The apprentice now questions reality. Field-tested bartering. Alchemical ethics. And a coin.

Page Five of the grimoire of Hermeitis of the Nine Circles. While retrieving an old coat (cursed, obviously), Hermeitis discovers a magical contract written in living ink and signed in his own blood. The catch? It's dated for tomorrow-and he has no memory of signing it. To resolve the matter, he turns to his oldest and most unsettling ally: Fenwick Merryweather, a cheerful mage with a fondness for bone dust, screaming ink, and rituals that probably shouldn't be legal. What follows is a mildly catastrophic attempt to nullify the contract involving ghostwater, eldritch fire, and possibly a sentient pigeon. The contract may be gone. The consequences? Less certain.

Page Four of the grimoire of Hermeitis of the Nine Circles. In this entry, Hermeitis attempts something dangerous and bold: interacting with regular people. What begins as a simple bowl of soup quickly escalates into a magical mishap, a man named Harl reliving his deepest shame, and a hasty escape through a window that became soup. Naturally, Hermeitis documents the entire disaster in great detail... for research purposes. Magic, misfire, and a lesson: soup is never just soup.