Sarcasm Stories

I am by far no one should actually dare to harm.... 3 simple reasons... 1) My mom 2) My mom 3) My mom HAHAHA did you expect something else? All the heroes are scared of my mom but they should be scared of her son more than her.... for she has trained me. I am just as unstoppable and insane as she is. Fight me... and you lose. A/N: I do NOT permit any kind uf usage of my story for podcasts, youtube or any other kind...as well as Translations. This is a my hero accademia fanstory hope you enjoy! Please also feel free to correct my bad writing. Rights on the pictures go to the artist. I do not own my hero accademia , rights to the owner.

Shits

All River wanted to do was survive her best friend's birthday party and avoid the annoying, overly cute guy from school. But a wrong turn into a "Do Not Enter" room changes everything. Suddenly, she has a mafia group on her tail, thinking she heard their top-secret information. Enter Darian Hayes. Turns out, he isn't just the popular school heartthrob- he's a highly trained undercover spy with a mission to keep River alive. Now, River and Darian are on the run across city rooftops and escaping moving trucks. River has to figure out how to survive the mafia, handle a fiercely protective secret agent, and navigate some seriously awkward situations along the way.

Let's be entirely realistic about the situation: a clash with a rabid giant snake is a bridge too far, even for a seasoned Potions Master. And so, Severus Snape finds himself standing at the very gates of eternity. Unfortunately, celestial bureaucracy shows no mercy, and since Snape simply cannot bring himself to decide where he would prefer to spend the rest of forever, he is promptly sent straight back. These chaotic reincarnations are meant to help him reach a final decision - or, alternatively, drive the mortal world to sheer despair. Neither Hogwarts nor Professor McGonagall and his former colleagues are spared his return. Especially since Severus Snape is by no means returning to his old stomping ground in the manner that was originally intended. His old acquaintance Lucius Malfoy, too, is in for a thoroughly rude awakening. As the unsuspecting master of a chronically bad-tempered new house-elf - who flatly refuses to toe the line - Lucius watches his peaceful, aristocratic existence dissolve into a living nightmare. And to top it all off, the universe's third attempt spits Severus Snape out right into the terrifying heart of the Muggle world. Let the cosmic chaos begin ...

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✶⊱· ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴏʀᴍᴀɴᴄᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀᴛᴀɪɴ ꜰᴀʟʟꜱ ·⊰✶ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ Jasper Elliot Hawthorne has got a lot going for her. She's a figure skater. An engineer. A collector of questionable ideas. She can probably fix your computer. She can definitely break it. She has periwinkle hair, slightly disturbing sleep habits, and enough technical knowledge to scare your cybersecurity department. And best of all, she's a Hawthorne. Her life is perfect. Except, there's only one thing Jasper does more than annoy her brothers. Only one thing she's better at than programming. Every day, Jasper gets up, puts on her excessively dark makeup, and spends the whole day pretending she's okay. And the worst part? Everyone believes her. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ DISCLAIMERS: If you have not read The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, there are H E A V Y spoilers for that book in this fanfiction. Go read that first! Chapters will come out as they are finished. I'm not creating a schedule because it will burn me out + increase my anxiety, and then it will never be done. This fanfiction has ZERO non-canon ships. If Jasper is paired with anyone, it will be with another OC. Jasper DOES NOT replace ANY existing characters. Instead of completely taking over a role, she adds a new dynamic to the Hawthornes without taking the spotlight off of Avery. Enjoy!!

💡 Original idea. Funny. Satirical. Sometimes it makes you laugh out loud, sometimes it makes you cry. This is an English translation from my own novel: Mari Kita Bully Demi Kebaikan. While bullying is usually cruel, this novel asks the reverse question: can bullying be a moral cure? Imagine a bizarre national movement called "Social Gaze"-just by staring together, people can make rule-breakers tremble. It starts out hilarious, but slowly turns terrifying: slander spreads, innocent people die, and even honest figures are framed. And out of all that chaos comes a single question... 👉 "Revenge, or forgiveness?" 📖 A satirical story about virality, dirty politics, and who truly deserves a place in heaven.

Summer Clayton Sanders has always just been part of my life. He's my best friend's older brother, Kingston U's star quarterback, and somehow the guy every girl on campus wants. But to me, he's just Clay. The boy who surfed with me every summer and sat in the back of his pickup eating Cheetos while our boards dried in the sun. Then one stupid party changes everything. Now we're stuck somewhere between friendship and something more, hiding stolen moments and undeniable tension from the one person we can't afford to hurt. But secrets never stay buried forever. And the more time I spend with Clay again, the more I realize some people might be worth risking everything for. Clay Summer Lawson is back in my life. My little sister's best friend. The girl I used to pick up before sunrise to surf before school. The one person I never saw coming. Now she's here for her junior year, and suddenly staying "just friends" doesn't seem so simple anymore. Because one stupid party changed everything. Now all I want is to be close to her. To touch her. Kiss her. Keep her safe. But the lines between us are blurring fast, and the voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me what's at stake. Abby. Football. The NFL draft. Losing any of it isn't an option. But maybe Summer is the risk I've been willing to take all along.

Two collision!

Melro "Mel" Clark has never had interest in relationships. Man nor woman. That's until a certain passive aggressive person caught his eye.

•"Are you really that important?" Come and find out.. •Oc lore basically •Triggers- rough language, violence, sexual behaviour, mentions of sex, drugs, suicide, mentions of suicide.. ~15+ •This is a original chaptered story that me and my friend (are still coming) up with! •It's about two women who (unfortunately) meet and are forced to depend on eachother. The two are totally opposites of each other, so it's destined to be quite interesting and entertaining. It's set in a dystopian world where the people there already died, thus, thus, the name Afterlife. Each person has a "parasite" (a sin) marking on their body. •It's not known when we'll be done :))) •Each chapter has about 1500-4000 words.

"Ellie?" he asked his eyes full of hope and regret. The name hit me like a bullet. but I didn't answer to it, because it wasn't mine. I kicked him in the ribs. because the mission is still in game. I need to obey the orders. I need to be the weapon, that I was born to be. but he was familiar. everything was. I looked at him one last time. "I don't know who you are." I said. but it hurts more than I want to allow myself. I pulled out a syringe and injected to him. It hurts too much to look at him. because they would ruin the last thing I have. I would lose myself? no... --------------------------------------------- People tend to call her the Red Ghost she hacks she kills she takes whatever she wants and what she is ordered. Because she's not there until it's too late. Because by the time you see her you're already dead. If you hear whispers of the red ghost make yourself a favour turn around and run. Because when she sets her sight on you. It's game over. You're already dead. oh who is she? ----------------------------------------- Ellie Light Stark is the daughter of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts until one night Hydra got a hold of her and she never saw her parents again. she spent her childhood in the red room, and then in HYDRA again. she was taught to kill to not give mercy. And she didn't, never hesitated pulling the trigger. She was brainwashed experimented that gave her powers. she could wield water and electricity. one day she meets the Maximoff twins and she finally gets hope. they try to escape but they fail miserably. Avengers than save Ellie and she is save for the first time in years. After years she finally found her family, she's allowed to heal with the Avangers. But where are the Maximoffs? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- TW: torture, experiments, scars , violence, strong language, blood, self harm, trauma, brainwashing, PTSD PS: I don't own any MARVEL characters, only Ellie

A hit was put on a billionaire's daughter by the competition. Poor Stella Von Rose. If she dies, the business would crumble under her mourning father, getting rid of the competition of a very sinister man. Somehow able to survive a bullet to the head, she captures the attention of the most dangerous man in New York. Elijah Beaumont. A CEO heart throb to the swooning public and a force to be reckoned within the underworld. What he doesn't know is that the attempts on her life is what forever changes his. ••• I shove the door open in time to see her fangs pierce his neck and quickly slam the door behind me before anyone else can see. She startles, her fangs dragging across the skin as she hastily pulls away and blood sprays. If not for her super speed to evade, she'd be covered in blood. "Elijah! What the hell is wrong with you?!" "I thought you were making out with him, not," I wave my hand at his dying figure. "this." She scoffs, running her fingers through her hair and gripping it at the base as she takes a deep breath, her body vibrating with anger. "What's wrong? You're not usually like this." She spins, blood rimming her eyes making mine widen. "You! Why can't you understand that? You came into my life, that's what's wrong!" She tips her chin up, blinking rapidly like she's trying not to cry. "I can't even eat in peace." ...OH! Now I get it, she's hungry-hangry! "Come." I stretch my hand to her. He falls first, she falls hard, he falls even harder. 🗣️Notice🗣️: This book is inspired by other famous books and TV series, but will not be the exact same. The characters are of my own creation with no relation to those in the books or series that you may be familiar with. Please comment, I love reading them!! ❗️WARNING❗️If you're going into this for smut, you will be very disappointed. I value tension and building actual romance, not just explicit physical intimacy.

Emery Curran is one of a long bloodline of lycans, she was an alphas daughter. Her world changed after one night. And it would never be the same again.

A young teen named Reese McKee lands a movie deal to act as the kidnapped daughter of an ex-Marine turned trauma surgeon. The only problem is the father is Jensen Ackles, the kidnapper is Jared Padalecki, and the Police Officer is Misha Collins. As they all bond in their rented house out in South Dakota, the boys learn that Reese doesn't live the life they thought she did. She has family secrets that eventually lead her to become part of their own families. Read the story of how an unfortunate beginning can lead to a promising ending. :) Please know that I do not own any of these people... I hope. Also disclaimer, if you are uncomfortable or are struggling with anorexia or anything mentioned, I am truly sorry as that was not my intent. You got this! TW: Graphic depictions of blood, some gore, mentions of anorexia, and anorexic behaviors. P.S. Highest Rankings: #1 in mishacollins and danneelackles somehow, so thanks y'all!

I made a career travelling through time killing the worst people in history: Gacy, Denke, Dahmler, Vasquez, Hitler more than once. But it's when I keep seeing her at every killing that I realise that I have competition. I might be the next one on her list, and the only thing more dangerous than being in a hitwoman's sights is falling in love with her. Cover by: CasualClyde https://cara.app/casualclyde/portfolio/book-covers Or https://www.instagram.com/casuall.clyde/

Best friends don't look at each other like that. Best friends don't think about it after. so whatever this is- it's definitely not just that. (s2 is out now)

When the gods decide to send a young demigod to their old friend Eywa, what will happen when they meet some navi called the Sully's and how will they return home to camp half blood guess you'll just have to wait and see

Fenella Madden a fost întotdeauna prea mult. prea sinceră, prea independentă, prea reticentă la a se supune. Ca jurnalistă, ea urmărește adevărul cu aceeași flacără care a făcut-o neiubită de familia ei. Mire după mire o respinge, iar cu fiecare refuz, Fenella se simte mai puțin o fiică și mai mult o proprietate scoasă la vânzare. Până într-o noapte, salvează persoana greșită de la pierire. Din acel moment, Fenella nu mai este singură. Umbrele o urmăresc. Ochii zăbovesc, prezența veghează, tăcută și mortală. Un urmăritor. Anthony Quillan cunoscut lumii drept Avocatul Morții, trăiește o viață construită pe minciuni și umbre. Ziua, este de neatins. Noaptea, vânează chiar organizația care l-a distrus odată. Dar sub cruzimea sa calculată se afla un adevăr terifiant: Anthony este diagnosticat cu alexitimie, o afecțiune care îl deposedează de emoții. Și dacă rămâne nevindecatǎ, riscă să devină monstrul pe care îl disprețuiește. Disperat, face o alegere periculoasă. Căsătoria. Fenella devine experimentul lui. Tentația lui. Întruchiparea a tot ceea ce nu poate simți. Ea devine posesiunea lui legală de catifea. Dacă există un lucru pe care Fenella Madden îl urăște mai mult decât respingerea, este faptul că este posedată. Și când focul este prins în mâinile unui bărbat care nu poate simți... cineva este sortit să ardă. ⚠️⛔️Atenție ⛔️⚠️ Această carte conține conținut pentru adulți 🔞 destinat cititorilor cu vârsta de peste 18+ și peste. Se recomandă discreție din partea cititorilor.

⊱ 𝓝𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 ⊰ Olivia Carver, the hopeless romantic, who denies it and tries to hide away the cracking shadows of her past trauma with smiles and laughter. Aiden Parker, who has his own load of shit in his past to deal with too, but he copes a different way- the more violent way by getting in trouble almost every single day. They despise each other. After 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 day, Olivia and Aiden both already try to avoid each other as much as possible in school. But how much can that help when Aiden is forced to give her basketball lessons they need to do for their grade and she cannot refuse because she completely sucks in sports? What will happen when the line of 'just a month of tolerating each other' blur and they can actually stand each other? Maybe even more than that. 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓭: ᴀᴘʀɪʟ 2025

Kitty fang just wanted to survive high school. Instead, she got a socially hopeless sea prince, an angry cat, ancient monsters, and way too many near-death experiences. Nobody knows she's in love with the sea prince and that she's a world famous author all they see is a clumsy sarcastic freak named phantom