MakeidaWill
Confessions of an Auctionista (And the People That Live in My Head)
I logged into a live perfume auction looking for one bottle.
Just one.
That's the lie every Auctionista tells herself.
Now I'm competing with the rich aunties for Prada Candy, cheering when somebody steals six bottles for six dollars, side-eyeing suspicious bidders, and wondering why an auctioneer has suddenly become part of my daily routine.
The real problem?
I don't go to these auctions alone.
I bring the entire committee that lives in my head.
There's CEO Madam K trying to keep everybody on budget. Sky, the Virgo investigator, already has screenshots, a binder, and a color-coded timeline. Blaze was forged through fire and has absolutely no patience for foolishness. HER is praying for all of us. Nina has a PhD in Pettiness. Penny is quietly taking notes because she already knows this mess belongs in a book. Apple keeps suggesting bad ideas that somehow sound like fun, and Kitty refuses to let us forget that surviving life doesn't mean we stop being fabulous.
Every auction turns into a staff meeting.
Every bid becomes a debate.
Every "I'm only buying one bottle" turns into a full-blown board meeting that nobody follows the agenda for.
Filled with laugh-out-loud moments, unforgettable personalities, and the kind of observations that make you say, "Why is this so true?", Confessions of an Auctionista is a love letter to bargain hunters, perfume lovers, and anyone whose inner voices have ever held a meeting without asking permission.
Come on in.
The rich aunties are already here.
The auction is about to start.
And trust me...
You don't want to miss this meeting.