Don't follow me because I don't even know where I'm going.

I spend every staff-meeting wondering how they got the table through the door. My boss thinking about how to fire me without compensation. We are equally productive.

Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupidity falls from yours.

I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I am joking.

I'm real and I hope some of my followers are too.