rosieray30

@gotta_luv_me8029 cool

tshanks

I think your story has great potential.  of course every book starting out needs editing. The only thing I see that could be better is its going really quick and not fully described in each scene. Also you might want to separate the different people when they talk. so the readers know who is saying and doing what. it is a pretty good start though. Just needs more detail. ask if you have anymore questions and I will try to help to the best of my ability.