Now You Want Me

Chapter One

HE SAT AT THE TABLE WITH ALL OF HIS FRIENDS. HE WOULD SMILE AND NEVER STOP SMILING. THE TIME HE HAD WITH HIS FRIENDS WERE AMAZING. ALL HE DID WAS PARTY. THEN WHEN HE WASN'T WITH HIS FRIENDS HE WOULD WRITE. THE THINGS HE WROTE WERE SO INSPIRATIONAL. SO BEAUTIFUL. PROBABLY THE BEST WRITTEN WORDS I HAVE EVER READ. 

I WOULD STARE AT HIM FROM MY TABLE. THE REASON IT IS CALLED MY TABLE IS BECAUSE I SIT ALONE. I DON'T REALLY HAVE FRIENDS. NOBODY LIKES ME BECAUSE I SELFHARM. I'VE HEARD THEY ARE SCARED OF ME. NOBODY WANTS TO COME NEAR ME. I USUALLY JUST SIT AT THE LUNCH TABLE BY MYSELF WITH A BUNCH OF PAPERS AND WRITE. MY LUNCH USUALLY IS THE SAME. A HAM SANDWITCH, AN APPLE, AND A SODA. PRETTY NORMAL LUNCH I GUESS. AFTER LUNCH I HAVE FRENCH. ONE OF THE WORST CLASSES OF THE DAY. I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO A GUY WHO CALLS ME A BUNCH OF NAMES. LIKE DEPRESSED, EMO, WEIRD, BITCH. I TRY TO NOT LET IT GET TO ME BUT IT ALWAYS DOES. THE ONLY THING TO LOOK FORWARD TO IS THE BOY I LIKE IS IN THAT CLASS.

I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE HALLWAY HOLDING MY BOOKS REALLY CLOSE. I HAD ALL MY PAPERS WHERE I RIGHT IN THESE BINDERS AND I COULDN'T LET THEM FALL OUT. I KEPT MY HEAD DOWN TRYING TO NOT MAKE ANY EYE CONTACT WITH ANY HUMAN BEING WITH A COLD STONE HEART. WHICH WAS A BAD CHOICE. I BUMPED INTO THE BOY AND MY PAPERS FELL EVERYWHERE. SO DID THE BOYS. THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME. I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH WAS WHICH BUT I PICKED UP RANDOM ONES. THAT IS HOW I GOT TO READ HIS POEMS/STORIES. I PICKED UP A BUNCH OF HIS. HE PICKED UP A BUNCH OF MINE. 

HE WROTE ABOUT A GIRL, THAT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING HE HAD EVER SEEN. SHE WAS ALWAYS ALONE, AND SHE HAD RED MARKS ON HER WRISTS. I WONDERED WHO IT WAS BECAUSE I WASN'T THE ONLY GIRL IN MY SCHOOL WHO SELFHARMED. HIS WRITINGS WERE BEAUTIFUL. I WANTED TO KEEP THEM AND REREAD THEM A MILLION TIMES OVER AGAIN. THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL. I COUDLN'T UNDERSTAND HOW A BOY LIKE THAT COULD RIGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 

I CARRIED HIS PAPERS ON TOP OF MY BINDERS. HE WAS STANDING AT HIS LOCKER WITH A VERY PRETTY PREPPY GIRL. THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY FLIRTING. I WALKED UP TO THEM, COMPLETLY IGNORING THE GIRL THAT WAS STANDING THERE. I HANDED HIM HIS PAPERS AND TOLD HIM I WAS SORRY FOR ACCIDENTALLY TAKING THEM. HE ACCEPTED MY APOLOGY WITH THAT SMILE. THE ONE THAT MADE ME FALL FOR HIM. HE REACHED INTO HIS LOCKER AND GRABBED MY PAPERS, HANDING THEM TO ME HE LEANED INTO MY EAR AND WHISPERED TO ME. SAYING THAT I WAS A VERY GOOD WRITER. THE BEST POEMS HE HAS EVER READ. I SMILED AND QUIETLY SAID THANK YOU. HE NODDED AND I WALKED AWAY.

I COULD HEAR SOMETHING BEHIND ME. IT WAS THE GIRL AT HIS LOCKER. SHE WAS RUNNING UP BEHIND ME. SHE SHOVED ME TO THE GROUND AND STARTED BEATING ME UP. I WAS PUNCHED LEFT AND RIGHT. NOBODY HELPED ME. THEY WATCHED AND RECORDED IT. I WAS CRYING AND BLEEDING. THEN I WAS DONE. I WAS COMPLETELY DONE WITH THE SHIT THESE PEOPLE HAVE PUT ME THROUGH. I PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. CAUSING THE GIRL TO FALL ON HER BACK. I JUMPED ON TOP OF HER AND KEPT PUCNHING. I COULDN'T STOP. NOBODY STOPPED ME EITHER. I HATED HER. I HATED THESE PEOPLE. I HAD KNOCKED HER OUT BUT I STILL KEPT PUNCHING. MY WIND HAD LEFT MY BODY AND I COULDN'T BREATH. I SLOWLY STOPPED PUNCHING HER AND GOT OFF OF HER LIFELESS BODY. I LEANED AGAINST A LOCKER AND LOOKED AT HER BLOODY FACE. REALZING WHAT I HAD JUST DONE. HER CHEST WASN'T MOVING. HER ENTIRE BODY WASN'T MOVING. I HAD JUST KILLED HER. I JUST KILLED A GIRL. SLOWLY, I STOOD UP AND LOOKED AROUND. EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME. FREAKED OUT. MY BODY REACTED AND I RAN. I RAN TOWARDS THE DOOR AS FAST AS I COULD. THERE WAS NO EMOTION. I JUST RAN. 

I MADE IT TO THE DOOR AND STARTED RUNNING HOME. EVERYTHING STARTED RUSHING IN AT ONCE. I JUST KILLED A GIRL. I NEEDED TO LEAVE. GET OUT OF STATE. SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY. I CURRENTLY LIVED IN MAINE. I COULD GO TO CALIFORNIA. I HAD ABOUT TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS SAVED UP. I COULD GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB. 

I MADE IT TO MY HOUSE. I BUSTED THROUGH THE DOOR AND NOBODY WAS HOME. LIKE ALWAYS. I RAN TO MY BEDROOM AND GOT OUT A VERY LARGE BACKPACK. MY ENTIRE CLOSET WAS IN THAT BAG BY THE TIME I WAS DONE. THE MONEY WAS IN A SAFE THAT WAS UNDER THE BED. THE PASSWORD WAS MY BIRTHDAY. I UNLOCKED IT AND SHOVED IT IN THE SMALL SPACE IN MY BACKPACK.