Christmas with Katyusha

A change of mind

How ever could I forget the night I realized the meaning of Christmas. After years of school, months working on that ship, days ruminating that I would not be able to spend time with the one I loved, I had come to a realization. It was a half past nine when I sat and stared at the clock on the wall. An hour til departure of the ship. An hour until Pravda's School Ship would leave the port and head out to sea. It was Christmas Eve, and here I was leaving the ones I loved at shore.

I'd only be out to sea a few months. I'd be back here in the summer to go and see them when the ship returned. Then I could go see her at Nonna's family home where they had moved. Nonna, so graciously, had taken in Katyusha to live with her after school was done. They needed the money I was making to revive the canvas shop of Nonna's parents, at least that's what I told myself. I was doing this for them, after all that is what sacrifice is about. Giving up something I wanted for their greater good. But that night my thoughts troubled me. Was what I was doing really for the better? I remember Nonna begging me to stay. She told me we could find a way to make things work without me having to leave. But I didn't want to risk it, I wanted to be sure her and Katyusha were safe. I bowed my head in meditation and thought about what to do. I'd already sent off most of my earnings off to them. Would another $12,000 really be enough.

It didn't take me long to count my cash, pack my bags and tell my boss I was leaving. In the minute, it didn't matter if I'd be fired. It didn't matter if I would lose my place in the Pravda Fleet's crew. It didn't matter as I started my car and drove. $1000 to my name, the clothing in my bags, and a car with half a tank of gas were all I had. What was the worst that could happen, I could go home, spend Christmas with Katyusha, and after if needed find a new job. If I stayed... I would miss out on Christmas, miss out time with those I loved, miss out on something special.

All that mattered was being there for the ones I loved. All that mattered was making it there before midnight. All that mattered was being besides Katyusha. It was all that mattered when I drove in the heavy snow, it was all that mattered on the dark, cold, empty roads, it was all that mattered when the car stalled and I prayed for it to start once more. I needed to know what I was missing. I needed to know if I was wrong.

And soon I made it to the house where Nonna lived and I ran to the door and I pulled out my key. Would it still work? Did they forget me, or worse yet remember to reject me? They couldn't have, I mean sure Nonna was not happy with my choice, but I didn't hurt her did I? I pushed in the key and turned, undoing the latch to the home. There was a deep quiet in the house as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. A light came from the room I knew to be the living room and I approached it silently.

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a tanker was stirring... not even the mighty Katyusha," began Nonna. Katyusha smiled smugly as her name was brought up, and pulled her blanket up closer than it must have been earlier. In her hand she held a cup of hot cocoa, topped with no less than half a can of whipped cream. I peered in through the door, hidden by the darkness. It seemed they were having fun. They looked to be so happy.

"The tanks were all cleaned by their tankers with care, in the hopes that they'd be greeted with so much fanfare.

"The tankers all waited restless in each their own cots, while visions of great battles played through in their thoughts.

"And Klara in her gown, and Katyusha in her red tanker's hat, thought long and thought hard from their beds of the pending combat,

"T'was then that they heard much of a clatter, when Nonna came in to inform them of the matter.

"Up from their beds they stood, while Nonna came in with plenty of good!"

"With gifts aboundant full of many new toys, and one special gift for the mighty Katyusha." Joked Nonna as she eyed her former commander jovially. It had been quite some time since I was let to see them all together, since I saw all their smiles before me with my own eyes. "It is time now we commence our festivities together, with a gift for the one and only Katyusha."