MOOD

4 | train

We were sitting on the train on our way to Xian.

There was only one seat on the aisle of the bunk bed car. I sat on your lap, and you circled your arms around mine, as my head rested on your shoulder.

I remembered the snuggles, the warmth and the hardness of your fit body as I leaned my back to your chest. I remembered you resting your chin on the nape of my neck. I remembered playing with your hands, as you taught me numbers in Dutch.

The middle aged lady sat on a nearby bunk bed, watching us with a faint smile on her face.

"Young love," that was probably what went through her mind.

I remembered thinking I was the happiest girl, in the arms of my beloved man, wrapped tight as he talked about random sweet stuff just into my ears.

I remembered us later climbed onto the top bunk, annoyed and agonized by being separated by the 60cm distance between our beds. We held hands mid air, we stretched ourselves to lean in for a kiss. And then looking to each other's eyes with silly smiles across our faces.

We took pictures of each other sleeping, without the other knowing. In an archive of something adorable we thought of each other.

Little did I know.

Only pictures could remind us, me,  of our love now. The proof that I was once loved and I loved once.

The proof that love can be gone so quickly, so unexpectedly, so painfully, so heart shatteringly.