The Edge Of Ocean

The edge of the night

I watch through the glass of my window, the city lights reflecting on the surface, busy cars driving from one side to another as if running away from the things that happened before they got a chance to escape. I sit motionless on the edge of the night, trying to find unnoticeable stars of hope, enlightening the sky just the way they used to enlighten my heart. But now, without seeing the smiles of people that I love, nothing can wake me up from misery, even the stars can't bring back the happiness of my family, the sloppy laughs that used to cover my lips after my grandfather passed away.
Tomorrow is about to raise the sunshine through the shadows of dark and my eyelids still haven't covered my eyes. Restlessness keeps enveloping the dark circles, painting the skin underneath them. Tomorrow is going to bring a new day while I don't want to see its beautiful conversations, to feel its sun playing across my skin but just stay here, in my room without a reason to get out.
We are moving from the city in a few hours. My mother thought that change would be good for me, for us, but still, I feel as if the entire world is agains me, but just this room is a safe place for hiding.
I lay my head on the soft pillow of my bed, struggling to think about yesterday, not wanting tomorrow to come but unfortunately, it will, one way or another. The slow hours, pointless minutes and continuous seconds pass without a single thing managing to turn the corners of my lips up or simply let emotions swim in the depth of my heart.
Soon, yesterday ends in elegant gesture and tomorrow comes, bringing all the wrong choices, bad words and mistakes back to remembrance. Every following minute remains like a mystery with every hour as a stranger.
Mom comes into the room, reminding me of only one thing. I have to make a step forward, not just stay stuck at the beginning. "Honey, get ready, dad is waiting for us in the car."- She says and only shivers occur in my stomach with the thought of having to taste today.
I force myself up and my legs shake in full tiredness as I step onto the firm floor. I barely put some comfortable clothes on and take my suitcase, making my way out through the wooden door.
The sun without a permission, envelops my shoulders and my blinded eyes try to find a way out of its tangled rays. I wish the numbness would go away so I can finally feel warmth instead of coldness but there is still nothing but the cold shivers in my body.
I sit inside the car, closing the door behind me without even a tiny bit of excitement in my veins to discover a new place, I am supposed to call home.