You like to keep secrets because you like to keep control.
You like to keep control because control makes you feel powerful.
You like to feel powerful because power makes you feel less afraid.
(You think.)
You think that when you are in control you can't get hurt. Because the one in control does the hurting. And if you're doing then hurting then you can't be the one getting hurt.
You believe that it's impossible for nobody to get hurt. You believe that all relationships must end and there must be pain. Somebody must get hurt. "And it ain't gonna be me." You say to yourself.
(And thus you create that.)
Your beliefs and expectations mold your reality. You are a powerful creator.
You like to keep secrets so you can keep the "upper hand."
You want the upper hand. You want the upper hand because you think there is only one upper hand and one lower hand.
You don't believe in loving equally. You don't believe in equality. Equality would mean that your "lover" and you love each other equally and share everything equally. You don't want that because you want power. You want power more than you want love.
(So you get neither.)
You want to make your own rules for how love works. You don't like the rules God made for love. Your rules are better. An improvement. Because your rules makes it so you don't have to get hurt, and you don't have to open up.
(You believe.)
The rules that God made for love:
You are both equal. Yin and Yang. You share everything. You complete one another. Hide nothing. Keep no secrets. Forgive. Always tell the truth. Feel your own emotions. Have your heart open. Flows freely and organically.
The rules you made for love:
I am in control. I hold back things that I can use as ammo for when we break up. (I'm expecting we will, I'm manifesting it) I only show you parts of me. Not the whole me. I will only feel what I want to feel like joy, happiness, lust, laughter etc. I will not feel anything I don't want to feel such as grief, anger, rejection etc. I will place my grief on you, so we can both have my grief. I will dump my rage on you because I don't want to feel it. It feels better when I give it to you. If I feel rejection is afoot I will leave immediately. If I leave you then you can't leave me.
You save things to let out for just the right time.. to hold over my head for when something happens between us. And If nothing happens between us, you will make something happen. You will make sure of it. It doesn't have to be real, it will be manifested because it's what you emotionally expect to happen.
Placing an expectation is like planting a seed of manifestation. You are a powerful creator.
You see, Gods system is completely open to giving you what you want. And when you create a relationship already prepared for a break up then you are actually, in that moment manifesting the break up. If your heart isn't open, you are manifesting the break up before the relationship begins.
The seeds you plant are the trees that grow.
So I always planted love. I even kissed the dirt after I planted the seeds. My heart glowed to plant the seeds. I planted those seeds with so much hope and desire and passion. Devotion. I planted my intentions. My intentions were to love you fiercely, to be the masculine reflection of God in human form, and for you to be the feminine reflection of God in human form. To be what you needed. I intended to love you on rainy days and sunny days, and never waver. To always hold your hand, but give you space when asked. I intended to respect you. I intended to give you my heart, and soul. I intended to give you my trust, and I trusted you. I intended to give you all of my truths and hold back nothing. I intended to keep you and Melahni safe, I would always protect you with my life. I intended total vulnerability. To please you every day, multiple times per day. I intended to be with you on Christmas morning, Thanksgiving (I'd even be with your family, if that's what you wanted, because I just wanted to be wherever you are). And every other holiday. I intended growth. I intended crying together. I intended watching the stars, watching movies, kissing, eye gazing, closeness, affection, openness, love making, and "I want nothing but you"...
Gods laws are perfect. They don't need revision. To revise Gods laws is to change "perfection" into "imperfection." Just like Lucifer tried to do.
Isn't it funny to make mistakes that we watch others make? We could have just learned from them. Yet we choose the hard way. We choose pain.
You wanted me to mess something up, you expected me to, so you created it through your fear. You manifested us breaking up, beginning with the day we met. And on that same day you also decided to have the "upper hand", and the "control", and to not show your skin, and to not let me in.
To have the "upper hand" would mean that your "lover" has the "lower hand." Meaning the dynamic you want puts you and your "lover" on different levels.
You like that.
You want your "lover" beneath you, to feed your fear. If your "lover" was equal with you then they would have an equal amount of power and you don't want that. You want more power. What's the purpose of being in control when you don't have more power than the person you want to control?
Your desire for power and love gives you neither. And, ironically, nothing is more powerful than love. If you choose love, you are also given power.
Mathew 6:33
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
New Andre Translation:
"Seek first Love, and everything else will be added to you."
You like to keep secrets because you like to keep control.
And I don't like to keep secrets because I like to keep love.
You see, if you have secrets and I don't have secrets then you have something over me at the end of the day. And you want to have something over me.
You have something hidden in your pocket, so you feel "safe." Because to feel "safe" (for you) is to feel in control.
But "control" is not a characteristic of love. Love controls nothing. Love lets things flow, like water.
God teaches about love through the operation of things on Earth such as animals' behavior, fruit , water, babies..
(watch them, they are teachers)
Love hides nothing. Because love isn't afraid. The only reason for anybody to hide is because they are afraid... or they are playing hide and seek.
I planted seeds of love as we began to grow together.
You planted seeds of fear as we began to grow together. Which is a contradiction because fear makes us grow apart. Your actions and intentions are a contradiction.
You may choose to have the upper hand, or you may choose to be in love.
You may choose to close your heart, or you may choose to be in love.
You may choose to hold onto your grief, or you may choose to be in love.
You may choose to hold onto your anger, or you may choose to be in love.
You may choose to be in control, or you may choose to be in love.
You may choose to keep secrets, or you may choose to be in love.
But darling, you can not choose both.
