Only Human

Chapter 1

There are always times when you reflect and ask, "why me?" or "why now?" or "why is it always the good people?" I'm not sure that there is ever an answer for these questions, or at least never an answer that is good enough to keep the thoughts at bay. I always think, "What did I do to deserve living a life with diabetes?" or "why were my parents the ones to suffer?" My parents were taken from me and my brothers two years ago by a drunk driver. Thankfully, my oldest brother Cooper was old enough at the time to take guardianship of me and my other brother Blaine. My name is Katie, this is my story of my life with my two older brothers and just trying to make it through high school in the tiny town of Lima, Ohio.

One thing that my brothers and I have in common is that we all perform. Whether it is through music, theatrical performances, or sports, we all excel. Cooper is definitely one for theatrics. He still acts in commercials, although he says it's to pay bills, I know that isn't true with the money mom and dad had in savings. We live a pretty comfortable life, especially for a bunch of kids living on our own. We take care of each other though. Blaine performs musically; singing and through instruments. He is amazing if I don't say so myself. Blaine is also gay and has an incredible boyfriend Kurt. They have been together for over a year now. I know mom and dad would be proud of the man that he has become. I am huge into soccer. I have been playing for as long as I can remember. It's always been an outlet of mine, especially when everything seems out of my control. Control over that soccer ball was mine. I chose when and where to kick it, and who I passed it to was up to me. It was also a place that I could release stress, anger, and aggression legally and without consequence. There is one thing that seems like it is always out of my control and that's diabetes. I am a type 1 diabetic, meaning that my body relies on insulin to survive since my body can't produce it on its own.

I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was ten years old, four years ago. Although most days I feel like I have it under control, there are always some days that no matter what I do, or how perfectly I time meals with insulin administration, I'm either too high or too low. It becomes a lose-lose situation. When our parents died, I wanted to die with them. I was only 12 years old at the time, Blaine was 14, and Cooper 22. I thought that if I ignored being diabetic, I could be with mom and dad sooner. Fortunately, I have two amazing brothers looking out for me, otherwise I would have been with my parents sooner rather than later. I just gave up. Soccer was no longer intriguing, I talked to nobody unless I had to, and my brothers took over the process of testing by blood sugar and giving me insulin shots. I have come out of that hole, but it hasn't been easy. Things like my insulin pump that I got last year has helped when dealing with the multiple needle pricks that I had to endure day in and day out. Now, most of the needles are due to testing my blood sugar. I have thrown myself into soccer and my studies. I am getting ready to start my freshman year of high school at WMHS with Blaine.

I have to admit, I am nervous. Many new people, new environment, and a new soccer team (try outs were over the summer so I already knew that I had made the team). A new school also meant new students, more eyes looking at me like I'm a freak, and attention that I never asked for nor wanted. Blaine keeps trying to assure me that everything is going to be fine, but I'm not so sure. I guess I'm about to find out.

"Katie. Katie, it's time to wake up." I felt someone nudging my shoulder and I recognized that voice.

"Coop, why are you waking me up?" I asked, still groggy from my nights sleep, restless at best.

"It's time to get ready for school. Test your sugar so I know what to get ready for you for breakfast while you are getting ready." Oh ya, it's the first day of high school.

"Alright, alright, I'm up." I replied while opening the drawer of my bedside table and pulling out my meter. After pricking my finger and loading blood onto the testing strip, I waited for the meter to result. The number 70 flashed back at me. On the low side but not incredibly uncommon. I adjusted the amount of insulin being delivered through my pump until I was ready for breakfast.
"Well?" Cooper asked.

"I'm at 70, Coop. I'm going to hop in the shower and get ready for school. I have practice after classes today too. Would you mind fixing oatmeal and some orange juice for breakfast and throw some snacks into my soccer bag just in case I need them later?"

"Sure Shorty, anything in particular for your snacks or just the usual?"

"Just the usual will be fine. I think Blaine has glee practice today too so I will just come home with him after school."

"Sounds like a plan, I'm going to get Blaine out of bed, again, I swear that boy is one of the worst people to try waking up in the morning."

Once Cooper left my room, I threw my blankets off of me, grabbed my clothes for the day, and hit the bathroom to shower. Track pants and simple t-shirt was my usual attire, and nothing changed in that because it was the first day of school. I reattached my insulin pump at the insertion site on my abdomen and slid the pump itself into my pant pocket. Another day, ready to go. Grabbing my backpack from my bedroom floor, I headed down the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast. As promised by my loving brother, Coop had my breakfast sitting on the table for me.

"Thanks, Coop, this looks awesome." I told him, thankful I didn't have to wake up even earlier to cook in the morning. Blaine entered the kitchen as I sat down at the table.

"Morning Shorty, you ready for your first day?" Blaine asked, clearly excited for another school year. You're probably asking yourself why my brothers keep calling me Shorty. Well, quite frankly, I'm short, only standing at 4'10'', not many people my age are under 5 feet tall. So I guess it's rather fitting and my brothers will never let me forget it.

"I guess so, just another day of school, only it's a different school. Same things though. I am however, actually excited for soccer practice through. Can't wait to start playing against people of a higher level," I replied. While I continued to eat, Blaine ate and finished getting ready. I finished eating quickly and ran upstairs to make sure I had everything packed for my day. I threw my meter in my back pack. "I need to check my sugar again right before class starts, " I thought to myself. The last thing I needed was to be hypoglycemic all day, especially when it's time for practice. My brothers have been really good about not pestering me all the time about checking my blood sugar. They know that I have it under control. They will step in if they think I'm high or low or I'm sick. Other times, it's mainly out of anger that I choose to ignore it or be belligerent about it.

"See you later, Coop!" I hollered out while running out the door with back pack and soccer bag in hand, heading out to Blaine's car. Blaine jumped in and we were off. "McKinley High, ready or not, here I come," I thought to myself.