Where Parallels Meet

Chapter 10

Forever?

(Her POV)

Like the saints traveled to the hills to find their share of heaven, I travelled to his land, miles away from home, to chase my share of love.

But yet again, the universe paid me in pain. It's sadistic that way.

Right when it sees you on the top of your world, it decides to fling you down.

And all you can do is, fall. Keep falling and falling, until you learn to pick yourself up. Piece by piece.

Fair enough.

On my journey to Chennai, I had envisioned the return journey as a time when I'd have a job, my favorite person and a smile on my face that I'd not be able to wipe away.

And it made me laugh how catastrophically wrong I was as the HR's assistant informed me it wasn't me they had chosen. The happenings of last night all fit just perfectly with this morning, and all of it hurt double as worse.

The remains of my colossal defeat were my swollen, bloodshot eyes.

No, you're wrong if you think I've been crying; because I haven't. Just that, I've aged about ten years in the last few hours, and at this point I'm not even sure, I want to continue.

I let the pulse of the train deafen me to the hurricane of my vicious thoughts. A part of me didn't want to reach home. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. That part of me looked hard and tense at the gravel out the window, almost begging me on its knees to end it all right away. This part of me didn't listen to me when I tried to tell it that it'll all soon be back to normal: that there was still life beyond the darkness. Maybe it didn't listen to me, because I didn't speak to it with conviction. I was not too sure if this dark was even supposed to have a morning to it. I was not sure if it was just night or had I been sucked into an endless vacuum where dawn never existed.

I wanted to shout out loud. My thoughts frustrated me. I frustrated myself. I needed silence; I needed my thoughts to all just keep quiet. Every passing moment dragged me closer to insanity by my very hair. I was certain if this didn't stop, I'd lose control. I hated myself. I hated it all. I just hated it.

I wished I'd fall asleep, how I wished I could disappear from this hell that I had been grooming around me. But here I was, staring out the window, with dead eyes, looking down upon my own self.

. . .