this is an inside joke guys, I'm not a furry
chapter 1
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it's been a long day at school, you have mountains of homework to do over the weekend and you know you have next to no time to spend on your own.
this in mind, you decide to take a walk anyway, to clear your head.
about an hour has passed, it's already getting dark outside and you can barely see a foot in front of you. the only thing lighting everything up is the street lights by the road which are few and far between, most of them broken. you pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight, you can finally see, almost as bright as day. making yourself an easy, obvious target.
you decide to listen to some fresh beats, you scramble through your pockets to find some cheap, wired earphones and you plug them into your phone, drowning out the world around you. you keep on walking and don't notice the loud, rushing footsteps of an angry, extremely fucking horny beast approaching you. at the last moment, you turn around, your heart stops, you are left in a cold sweat, you can almost hear the heavy metal boss music at "it" dashes toward you.
it stops, a few metres away, it's face drowned in shadow, it has extremely thin limbs, it's scuffed fur seems to be a dirty brown colour, like that of shit, it's eyes are glowing like flashlights, and ears resembling "the floppa".
it opens it's mouth, you can smell the faint stench of pond water, fish and... beans?
it speaks.
"hey bro how's it goin"
you freeze completely.
"w-what?" you reply, in a shaky voice.
"ya got any beans?" it says, in a sort of sticky voice
"n-no..." you answer
"tch, fine then." it turns around, as do you, and you walk away.
he grabs your bag and starts eating anything that looks vaguely edible in there.
"h-hey!!" you snap at it, however he does not notice, and keeps eating.
finally, it stops.
"thanks for the meal my sweet little sugar penis." it's thin yet bulking figure comes closer, you do not run as you are frozen with fear. it raises it's hand, and shoves it in his mouth, then it retrieves some sort of headband from inside, wait a minute, are they...? surely not... they are. he hands them over, a pair of black and pink, sticky and soggy cat ears.
"goodbye, my sweet little cumrag" it says, it cracks a sort of smile and melts, before you could say "sticky soggy cum sock" it disappears, into a puddle of piss. you drink him the end
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sorry about the sub-par writing, it's mostly ironic and i haven't really written any fanfictions before lol. thanks for reading anyway, you little shart monster.
