Fade Into You: a love story

Chapter Four: Jessica

I left the wedding dress in a heap on the bedroom floor, along with the stupidly ostentatious engagement ring he'd given me. I didn't care anymore. I never wanted to see either of them again. While I changed and packed, Håkan waited in the living room.

He was probably pacing the length of the room with his long legs, trying to work off his own anger at being cast in the role of the Rescuer again. I didn't blame him. He'd played the role so often, with me, with the girls who'd come before me.

No, don't think about that, I had to remind myself. Just pack. Get your shit together and leave. I didn't even know where I would go. All this time I'd put my everything into the bullshit dream Anton had sold me.

For the first time in an eternity, I wished I could call my mother for a little sympathy, but I knew I wouldn't get any. She'd called me a fool for thinking that moving to Europe to study and work would change my life.

"You think you're going to find something better there? Doesn't matter, no matter where you go in this world, all the men are the same. You may as well save your money, stay here and get used to it."

She hadn't wanted me to leave Richmond. She'd said I was chasing a pipe dream. I didn't think I was chasing anything. I just wanted to see more of the world and I'd somehow ended up here. Maybe for a little while, I bought into the fairytale. I thought my life was so much better than it ever would have been if I'd stayed in Richmond. But sooner or later the dark days catch up with you. Never think you should be too happy. It's always waiting for you, that monkey's paw that will ruin even the brightest of days. Too much happiness never did anyone any good.

I'd scrubbed off all the makeup, deconstructed the intricate bridal hairstyle and changed into jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt and flip-flops. I'd rummaged through all the drawers until I found my passport, the dark blue envelope with the airline tickets and contact details for the luxury bed and breakfast we'd booked for the honeymoon. I'd packed everything I'd brought with me when I moved in with Anton.

It only took two suitcases and a duffel bag to contain my life.

When I emerged from the bedroom, Håkan stopped pacing. He looked as exhausted as I felt.

"Are you ready?" He was still in his wedding attire--the morning suit Anton had insisted upon. The starched shirt had left an angry red welt on Håkan's neck.

I nodded. "We're going to your place so you can change too."

"And then what do you want to do?" he asked as he took the suitcases from me.

"We're going on a honeymoon." If anyone deserved a trip after all of this, it was the two of us. "No point in these tickets going to waste."

"Can we do that?"

"Of course we can," I said. "I booked the tickets, I paid for them. We'll change the name on the ticket to yours. And then we're going to Sardinia."