Princess Pupa (REWRITTEN)

Three

A week later, the engagement was official; Princess Pupa of The Changeling Empire was to be married to Venom of Shiftria in two months.

Instead of church bells ringing and people in town gossiping about the new couple, people kept their heads down and wondered what creative murder ideas Pupa was plotting to use on her husband-to-be. And Pupa could be very creative.

After she had killed her third fiance by stripping him naked and whipping him to death in the town square with chains from the dungeon, people had grown accustomed to the fact that their princess wasn't going to settle down anytime soon. There were even rumors of a betting pool of what she would use for the kill, where it would be, etc. running around the black market.

Despite the cruel, unusual and mostly public executions of her future spouses, Pupa didn't mind the attention the suitors gave her. Most of them were downright charming; and a few of them were pretty good kissers.

It was the fact that people thought they could push her around--that she was a lifeless doll her parents could put on a shelf and have the occasional teatime with--was what really pushed her over the edge. Her fiances were just the unfortunate receivers of that anger.

Unfortunately, Pupa wasn't just engaged to any suitor; she was engaged to Venom, of all people. He, unlike the others, knew her personally. He was well aware of the way she plotted for weeks, carefully strategizing how she would murder her future husbands, and then lunging for the kill when they least expected it. And it was this knowledge of her that let him avoid every single trap she'd set for him.

Her latest plan to poison the biscuits on the table when Pupa invited him to afternoon tea yesterday had failed horrifically when Buzzy ate three, and had to spend six hours in her bathroom groaning as she guzzled potion to flush it out of her. Pupa was taking a walk down the palace halls, contemplating how she could do away with Venom quickly without leaving a blood trail. After all; no evidence, no accusation.

She was just debating whether she should screw it and attack him in the middle of the night with her axe, or wait and see if he would fall for the tried and true Grenade-In-The-Grand-Piano trick when the pianist played the wedding march, when she heard a sudden crash come from a closet to her right.

That wasn't what surprised her; she couldn't count how many times she had walked in on a couple of servants making out in the dark when she was in heated matches of hide-and-seek with Buzzy when they were younger. What made her stop and put her ear up to the door was the sound of dark chuckling that sounded suspiciously like Venom.

"W-would you, you st-stop being so, so worried? N-n-nobody's going to-to find us," a breathy voice Pupa didn't recognize sighed. "You say that, babe, but you know if nobody could find us we wouldn't be hiding in a closet," Venom's voice pointed out.

"Fair p-point." Pupa could almost hear the pout in the second voice. There was a few seconds of silence, during which Pupa almost thought she'd imagined the conversation before Venom spoke up again.

"You do know if my father finds us, Chrysalis will throw both our hides into her Funhouse, right?" Venom asked.
"Well the-then, uh, I guess, guess you'd--uh, better, uh, stop t-talking, then," the second voice whispered seductively before the smacking noises resumed.

Pupa pulled away from the door as little whimpers from the second voice started leaking from the crack under the doorframe. She didn't particularly feel like listening to two people making out; it put her off her lunch. But, she was curious to see if Venom was really in there. And, more importantly, who he was making out with if it was him.

Catching him red-handed in the act of cheating on his fiance would be reason enough to throw him in the Funhouse. Or, if Pupa acted as heartbroken as whoever Venom decided to pin against a wall would be, he might be put to death in a formal execution. And, if Pupa really begged, she'd be the one to take off his head herself.

Sprinting back to her room, Pupa snatched up her phone, and returned to the hallway, skidding to a stop once she'd reached the door. She pressed her ear up to the door again, trying her hardest not to breathe too loudly.

Sure enough, they were still at it, though the whimpers had evolved into something a bit more....well, let's just say that Pupa had heard them before from her mom's room, and they were not a sound that could be easily removed from her memory. Slowly, Pupa clicked the 'record' button on her phone.

"Mmmm....Veno-o-om~," the voice gasped with a heavy tremble to it, and throaty growls followed after the little gasps and whimpers. Busted. Pupa let a grin slide onto her face, wedging the phone just under the door. Not only did she catch Venom red-handed making out in a closet, she had proof it was actually him. Pupa grinned at what might happen when she showed her parents the video.

"Mother! Father!" I would collapse into the throne room, shuddering with sobs, eyes red and puffy from heartbreak. Everyone would stop what they were doing, and wonder whatever had caused their princess such misery. "I-It's Venom," I wailed, collapsing into my father's arms. "He, he, he, he cheated!!! Waaahhhh!!"

Everyone would murmur and whisper around the court, and when I showed them the video, they would be so horrified that someone had dared to humiliate their princess like that, they would plead--no, demand--that Venom skip the Funhouse and his head immediately be put on a chopping block.

Then, the day of the execution. All the empire would gather to see the execution of the duke that dared to humiliate their princess. The royal guards that worked in the dungeon would be there, chopping watermelons and letting them roll down a chute into a catapult mechanism, where it would be launched into the crowd. Since public executions were rare, when someone's head was taken off, it was launched into the crowd, and whoever caught it would get a free dinner with the royal family. Then, the prisoner would arrive.

He would be led out, covered in chains as all of the Changeling Empire mocked and ridiculed him by throwing rotting fruit and rocks at him, splattering his messy hair and ragged clothes with juices that would perfectly hide the blood that would soon cover him from head to toe.

He would be led up to the platform, the crowd booing as he stood before his people. The royals would have front row seats, up on the marble balcony overlooking the town square. I would be dressed in black, secretly grinning beneath my widow's shawl. Then, the executioner would arrive, silver axe handle glinting in the emerald sun.

Immediately, cheers would rise as his huge shadow overwhelmed Venom, his 5' 10" easily surpassed by the executioner's nearly 7 foot frame. As he forced his head down into the shallow bowl and slid the lock into place, more cheers would arise. Then, as the executioner raised his axe, time would seem to slow down.

People would be cheering as the axe fell, moving like it was stuck in gelatin. Everyone would be leaning forward in their seats, gripping the edge of the railings separating them from the executioner's platform, waiting for when his headless corpse would tumble to the ground and his head would give one lucky Changeling the meal of a lifetime.

There were so many different sounds that went on during an execution. The sobs of Venom's family. The bloodthirsty frenzy of the crowd. The stoic facade of the prisoner, and perhaps a few babbled prayers before Death collected Venom's unfortunate soul. The heartbroken scream of his lover as the ax dropped--

Pupa was so caught up in her fantasy that she hadn't noticed the weight she was putting on the door, and she gave a yelp when it pushed open and she fell into the room, letting her phone skid across the floor and making Venom and whoever he was kissing freeze in their tracks.

The sudden beam of light illuminated the features of Venom and his supposed lover; a small boy with pastel teal hair tied back in a low ponytail, with little bangs that hung into his eyes. "Um...." the little boy murmured, messing with his hair. "Th-this is, uh, awkward."
"Yeah," Pupa agreed. Awkward didn't begin to describe what she had just walked in on.