Homecoming

Chapter 13

After your epiphany, you needed to get some space and think. After you finished breakfast, you made an excuse about how you had to get home, and you collected your things from his bedroom. Now, in the daylight, you could fully take in the appearance of his room. His bedding and sheets were dark grey and navy, and he had one of those padded faux leather headboards. His dresser, shelves, and nightstand were grey and had a modern cut. The shelves seemed out of place with the room. The room was very neat and organized while the shelves were overflowing with a random assortment of books. The shelves looked like they were about to burst. On his nightstand, you could see a pair of glasses, a watch, and his cell phone arranged nicely next to the aspirin and water bottle. There was a bathroom connected to his room, but the door was closed, so you didn't manage to sneak a peek.

When you were done grabbing your stuff, you walked back out into the main living area where Spencer was relaxing on the couch, waiting for you. He told you that you could keep his clothes, and you can return them next weekend since you were both going to the movie night together. You thanked him because you were really comfy and didn't feel like changing. Spencer walked you out the door to your car, making sure you were safe, and you said your goodbyes. On the drive home, you didn't even turn on the radio. The thoughts swirling in your head were enough noise for you.

You spent the rest of your weekend working on class assignments in between watching Netflix and taking a bike ride through the nearby park. You tried your best to distract yourself from your confusing- and sometimes unholy- thoughts about Spencer. You hoped talking with your girls on Tuesday would help put you at ease and help you figure out what to do.

............................

On Tuesday, you met up with the other three ladies at your usual spot in the cafe. They were already sitting down when you got there. Emily presented you with your drink, and you handed Emily cash in return. You plopped your bag down as you made your way into the seat.

"So, Y/N, when can I see my chocolate thunder again?" Penelope asked immediately.

"Your what?" you chuckled. "What is chocolate thunder?"

"Um, hello!! It's Derek Morgan!" Penelope replied as if it was obvious.

"Oooooh, gotcha. I'm going to the movie night with Spencer this weekend, but maybe we can all do something together next time? I can ask Spencer for his number tomorrow if you want me to," you offered.

"Yes, please! He is so dreamy," Penelope gushed.

"What happened to Kevin?" JJ chimed in.

"Been there, done that," Penelope said as she waved her hand.

"Wow, Garcia, I didn't know you were such a player," Emily teased.

"I am a guy magnet what can I say? Anyway, we need to focus on more pressing business. Y/N, what's the gossip?" Penelope redirected the conversation.

"Yeah, Y/N! I've been dying to hear about it all weekend," JJ added.

"Well..." you paused. You were having second thoughts about telling them because once you tell them, everything becomes real, and it really does become the point of no return.

"Yes? What is it?" Emily prodded.

You decided that you've been trying to figure this out on your own for long enough, and you needed to tell them for your sanity's sake.

"So...you know how Spencer and I went to the frat party this weekend? To make a long story short, we had a really good time. It was tons of fun, but Spencer was super drunk, and when I dropped him back at his apartment, he pulled me into bed with him. Then, he proceeded to kiss my forehead as he told me he wanted me and called me sexy in my cat costume. I don't think he remembers saying or doing any of these things," you explained.

"Woah, Spencer said those things? It's always the quiet ones," Penelope said.

"So, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about him?" Emily pressed further.

"I ended up staying the night with him, but nothing happened. We both fell asleep. I'm not sure if he was saying those things because those are his true feelings about me or if he was just drunk. Honestly, it made me realize that I think I want him, too. These feelings have been building up the past few weeks. He came over, and all I could think about was kissing him, and I almost kissed him at the bar after the slow dance. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm just lonely, and my heart is just looking for the closest source of attention and affection or if I really do have feelings for him. If I really do have feelings for him, I don't want to ruin what we have as friends. What if he rejects me, and then everything is weird after that? Or what if we date for a little bit, and we have a super horrible break up? I don't know what to do," you said as you put your hands over your face. You were feeling very overwhelmed.

"I see the way that boy looks at you, and I think it's safe to say he won't reject you. Plus, Spencer doesn't seem like the type to want to have drunk sex," Penelope reassured you.

"That's true...he did punch a frat boy for wanting to drunkenly take advantage of me, but that's a story for another time," you commented.

"Spencer also doesn't seem like the type of guy who would be petty and throw away your friendship if you guys did break up," JJ said.

"I think you need to explore these feelings, Y/N. You're always going to think about the 'what ifs' if you don't. If the feelings pass or Spencer doesn't return the feelings, the sooner you can move on," Emily advised you.

"Yeah, you guys are definitely right," you said.

"You said you and Spencer are going to the movie night this weekend, right?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, we are! Why?"

"That's the perfect opportunity to explore your feelings. Treat the night like it's a real date with him and see how you feel about it. That way you can imagine what it is really like being with him. If you like it and your feelings grow, then you have your answer," Emily suggested.

"That's actually a really good plan, Emily! I'll let you guys know how it goes," you happily agreed. You were starting to feel less stressed about everything. You had a plan in place. Finally, a way to get a definite answer.

"I think you two would make a really cute couple! He seems like a really good guy for you. Oh my gosh! I just had the most amazing idea. If you go out with him, you and Spencer can go on a double date with me and Derek!" Penelope exclaimed.

"She doesn't even have his number yet, and she's practically planning the wedding," JJ laughed.

"Thanks, I love you guys. I was so distraught over all this, and, now, I feel so much better," you said.

"I think this calls for a group hug," Penelope ordered.

The four of you stood up and joined together in a hug. You didn't want to admit it, but you started tearing up. You felt so grateful to have such good friends in your life. Even though you were upset at first about transferring from Georgie to California and uprooting your whole life, you were glad that you did make the move.