Sundown

no fears

He knew he had landed face first into a pool of emotional turmoil. How was he supposed to explain all of it to Saoirse? She had been nothing but kind to him, always taking care of him before herself.

She had not even started it all.

Sure he had known the look in her eyes whenever they met his. He had always known where he stood when it came to her, but it had been him who offered her warfare lessons, him who shamelessly admired how ferociously beautiful she looked with a sword in her hand and him who took her in his arms and kissed her first.

She had always let him make herself his own, following him where he took her, giving every inch of her to his whims... so unlike Saoirse. But is that not what one does when infatuated - act completely out of oneself?

After all the sweet words they had exchanged, the kisses they had shared, the silent comfort they had provided each other whenever they were together, what was he supposed to tell her that would make it all hurt less?

He had not realised that he had been crying till he felt slim fingers wipe his tears away and cup his face.

"I never knew you liked her that much." Pauline said, running her thumb over his sharp cheekbones.

"You do not know a lot."

"You can always tell me."

Timothee sighed. Pauline had known more than anyone else about him and his silly romance with her best friend. It was time she knew the entire picture.

"I-I've been so foolish, how could I have let her believe anything about us when I do not have the balls to stand up to mother and father, and fight for what I really want?" He whispered and before he knew it, a fresh stream of tears ran down his face.

Pauline wrapped her arms around her brother and kissed his hair in comfort as she let him cry into her collar.

"You did it for Elmcaster, Timothee. If there was no war, I'm sure you would have let them know that you do not want Lily." She reassured.

"What about her? She does not deserve this one bit."

"I know. I should have stopped both of you before it ever happened."

Timothee squeezed her hand. Little did his sister know that even if she had tried, she could not have stopped it all. He had always been fascinated by her. When they were children, he had always admired how deftly she arranged all the toys and how she always knew the right things to say.

When they hit adolescence, he began looking at her in ways he should never have, so he stopped spending time with Saoirse and Pauline.

He started fooling around with other ladies and princesses as years went by, but whenever he saw a certain maid who was always with his sister, he could never stop wondering what it would be like to take her to Balls, to dance with her and be the reason she blushed.

It had always been easy for him to talk to women, to woo them and make sure they thought about nothing but his charismatic self but Saoirse made his wits freeze. It was so hard to even look her in the eyes but lord when he did, he couldn't look away.

This time when he had finally decided to let go of all shame and butterflies, and taken concrete steps to pursue the woman he had always wanted to, the stars had to misalign and fuck it all up for them.

Were the gods happy now?

"Do you think she knows about the betrothal?" He asked so softly he wasn't sure if his sister had heard.

"It has not exactly been a secret to anyone since father agreed to the proposal. The pirate king has been sending out knights into the city to announce the news."

"But the Tower is farther from the city."

"I don't know, Tim. Does it really matter? The marriage can't be stopped so she will get to know at some point."

They sat in silence after that, the owls hooting their nightly hymns outside.

Timothee had never wanted to be any other creature but human more. His sister abruptly withdrew her arms from around him when Prince Ansel appeared at his threshold.

His likeness was hidden by the thin translucent curtain, but it was impossible to not recognise the shadow of his tall frame and longsword tucked at his belt.

"Come in," Timothee spoke before the other prince had the chance to ask his permission.

"You should sleep Tim, you're going to meet your bride to-be tomorrow." Ansel said.

"Why did I not know this?" Timothee replied.

"Because you were not listening to father at supper?" Pauline said and Timothee put his face in his hands, his head pounding like new year bells.

"I just came to take the lovely princess away, she shouldn't have to walk alone in the dark." Ansel spoke and Timothee watched as his sister accepted the prince's hand and got up.

He pulled her in for a chaste kiss before they bid him a good night and walked out of his chamber.

He guessed it just was not his fate to walk the woman he loved to her bed at night like Ansel got to do. It wasn't written for him to kiss her anymore and heavens knew how much he would give just to hold her in his arms a last time before they really had to part.

For the first time in his life, he was going into battle with no fears at all. Who did he have to return home to?

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a/n: poor timo, it breaks my heart to even think of him ever being so sad. This was a hard chapter to write but I'm glad it is out there now. Also, I cannot stop watching Timmy on SNL oh godddddd. My favourite skit was when he dressed up as Harry Styles and I nearly died when he *winked*. And bless the person who put the YEET song on Spotify haha, it's such a jam! What was your favourite sequence of his SNL?

If you haven't watched it yet, what the fuck are you doing with your life? Put everything aside and go stream that. Shoo.

love and warm hugs,

Smriti x