pure imagination

i was happy.

(this is some like monologue shit idk just role with it)

I was happy. I was happy with you. I was happy when we came back from long nights out and crashed on the sofa, waking up to not remembering how we got there. I was happy when we went on our morning jogs and laughed the whole time. I was happy when i fell sick and you made me breakfast in bed and gave me warm soup for the evenings; I was happy then! I was happy with you.

I was happy when our 2 year anniversary came and you took me on a surpise trip to Paris. I was happy when a sad movie came on i would sob and you would pull me into your arms and comfort me. I was happy when you knelt on one fucking knee and told me you loved me and told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. And you showed me that ring. That precious ring. It glowed when the sun rays hit it, It glowed whenever you told me you loved me, it glowed because i was happy. I was happy with you.

Now fast forward a few months. Not many just a few. I come home. I come home from not a bad day but it wasn't the best. You always sit and let me talk to you about my day whether it was good or bad. I walked in and you were not in sight. I walked into your office, the living room and kitchen and you were not in fucking sight. I assumed you were in the bedroom or in the bathroom or maybe just left to go get something and forgot to tell me but you weren't in sight.

But you were there, in the house. You were in the bedroom. But just not with me. You were with another. Another women on my side of the bed and you on top of her laughing your asses off cuz you were having so much fun. You were happy. Did i not make you happy? It doesn't matter now cuz you're there. Happy. You were happy fucking someone else while i came home after having a rough day and expect to talk about it with what i thought was my fiancé but nope. You're doing something else. Or should i say someone else.

I run out the house with my keys in one hand and my phone in the other and i get in the car and drive away sobbing. The worst day of my life. How could you do something like this?! How can a person commit to such a thing and then go sleep with someone else?! If you wanna have someone else so badly then just tell me. That's way better than doing it with some whore in our bedroom.

I forgot to mention i took off my ring and put it on the counter before i stormed out. A few years later I make a couple best friends and we hang out almost everyday. I've forgotten about your. No, i haven found love yet. And you don't count. That was not love.

I'm walking around the park. It's cold this day and i have a warm cup of hot cocoa in one hand. Standing at the railing looking at the lake, i feel safe. I feel free. But out of the corner of my eye i see you. You were there too. With that whore of a women you cheated on me with. Within a blink of an eye you kneel down and open a box to reveal a ring. You kneeled down and put a shiny rock on her finger. I'm heartbroken.

And that was the same ring you proposed to me. You saw it on the counter, accepted that i left and we were over, then took the ring and planned to propose with it to your new lady. I try not to cry but you know it's hard not to when you ex-fiancé proposes with the same ring to the women they cheated with.

I leave. I leave the lake and never look back. It's been 10 years since that and I still fucking think about it. I got over you and forgot about you then you go out and propose to another women. I hope you get cheated on. I hope when you're happy with her like i was with you she will cheat. I hope.

I was happy. I was happy without you. I was happy when i left you and went on my own jogs, i was happy without you when i made my own breakfast, I was happy without you when sad movies came on and I sobbed without you.

You ruined my life. This is your fault but it's also mine for believing that you will commit to such a crazy thing like marriage. I believed it was my fault you left, i thought it was my doing that influenced you to make that decision to cheat on me! 

I am happy.

I hope you are too.