𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥.✓

[14] e t h a n

Chapter 14 - Ethan's Pov:

I would have never guessed. Looking at Lila, I'd always seen a beautiful girl, one who I thought had been spoiled most of her life. She seemed to always get what she wanted and did whatever she wanted. There were a few brief moments when I saw sadness in her eyes, but I never, ever thought it would be from something as dark as what she told me.

I hate her mother for starting her addiction to pills and I really, really fucking hate the perverted bastard who started this mess. I have a lot of hate floating around inside of me. It worries me, because my father has hate in him, too, and it nearly cracked my mom. But the moment Lila and I kissed I knew it was going to be very hard to let her go. And when we had sex, I knew I was done for. But what really did me in was when she told me her story, when I saw the pain in her eyes, the fear of being unloved and unwanted. Right then, I knew I wanted to take all that pain away from her. I think I can finally understand what Micha was always ranting about whenever I'd question his refusal to let Ella go, despite her problems. And I think that's because I'm falling in love with Lila. Really falling in love.

There's one thing I need to do, though, before I move forward with her. I need to see London, not to try to bring her back or hold on to her, but to say good-bye like I never did so I can finally move on. I've been clutching on to the idea of her for years now, over my guilt of walking away and the sheer fact that I wanted her, broke my rules for her, but never did fully understand her, no matter how hard I tried. I'm ready now, though, to say good-bye to London completely and Rae. Ready to move forward in my life instead of being stuck. And move forward with Lila.

I'm supposed to be booking a flight to San Diego for Ella and Micha's wedding, but as I'm searching for flights I change the destination from California to Virginia. I search through the flights, feeling a lump form in my throat and it only grows when I click one of the cheaper flights.

I'm seriously going to do this. I'm going to let go.

And hopefully move on with Lila.