mcyt ships//requests:)

dreamnap

summary: sapnap is feeling really, really down after some donos. he ditched everything until dream takes it into his own hands.

tw! ed(?), overall just body hating ig

words:2639

why are you so fat? the donation rang through his ears leaving pain in its trail. "umm i don't know," he stumbled over his words carefully. "thank you for the fifteen dollars though man!" it hurt. it really did hurt. his doctor told him he was healthy so why would it be a problem? the chat exploded with people bashing the person of the donation. smiling at his protective chat he continued saying little 'thanks' here and there, nothing too big. just when he felt comfortable back on face cam another rang through his ears violently. "why do george and dream hang out with you? or anyone on smp at all?" such a ridiculous thing to say right? right?! they loved him even if they didn't seem to express that twenty-four seven. little things were perfectly fine for sapnap to be content with his life at the moment. although the donations were hitting somewhere he's never even explored. his depression did hit hard from time to time but not this hard. "well," he paused not really knowing what to say. tears threatened to fall which burnt his eyes tremendously. every ounce of his being held them back with a struggle. "i wouldn't know. you might have to ask them about that i guess." he shrugged a little as he watched his chat, once again, go off on these donations tonight. he was rather happy to have supportive fans but no matter what they said he just couldn't not get down. a couple more donations came through occasionally like 'fattie' or 'dude cover up the acne' but he just thanked them for the money and let it be.

he was doing fairly good at ignoring until one particular donation made its way on the screen. "one day dream and george are going to ditch you dude. i mean their playing among us with other big youtubers, you're sitting here trying to speed run with no one on call. it's already started i'm just trying to look out for you love you!" love you?! he stopped moving his character entirely. the entire donation was true. he didn't even get an invite or a heads up on why they will be away. they were playing with huge youtubers at the moment. so was karl who he never thought twice about leaving him once. he looked up at the camera for a split second. glossy eyes becoming noticeable due to the lighting at that certain angle. "y-you're right oh my god." he blinked softly as a small tear fell rather quickly. noticing he wiped it with his sleeve before turning off the face cam. shortly after he ended the stream rather abruptly, no goodbye or anything. sure he felt bad no goodbye but at that moment he didn't care much. he turned off his light not bothering to clean up his water laying on his desk. flopping on his bed he made his way to twitter quietly seeing two hashtags with his name all over them.

#sapnapcrying

#sapnapsfat

he tapped on them subconsciously knowing he shouldn't have. he found many people supporting him in the first one but the second? oh boy the second was terrible. people comparing him to a balloon and beach balls, going as far to photoshop his face on a hot air balloon. he couldn't even try to stop the tears that began to flow down his acne covered cheeks. he swiped down just to see the time but got met with 'dream is live: playing among us with friends!' did he dare? he wanted to click terribly bad so he did. when joining there were a bunch of chats with his name in them. 'sapnap is crying' and 'sapnap just ended the stream crying dream!' it was useless they don't keep their chats open. "he's what? why? what happened? here let me deafen." he told the players what he was going to do before focusing on chat more. "donations were bad? how so?" sapnap wide eyed a little bit. he didn't want dream to find out at all. 'i have it clipped let me share.' someone said catching dreams attention. he let the person share before going silent. 'sapnaps here! are you okay?' someone typed flying past everyone. "oh wow. people are so mean what the hell?! i'll text him after stream." with that he undeafened and closed his chat. of course after stream, second choice. always in a second. he left the stream throwing his phone across the room listening to it slam. he probably broke it but he didn't care. everything ached as if just getting beat up or working out when out of shape. he needed to do more working out but found himself struggling to do anything. after a lot of thinking and scenario making he went to bed. during the middle of it he turned on his ringer and made sure it wasn't broken. he even saw dream not streaming anymore but no text from anyone. that sure hurt.