YOO and MI [ #JeongMi ]

Penguin-MINA-RI

The life I am in now is indeed very different from my point of origin.
How I am in Korea is way more different than how I was in Japan.
I was always afraid to stand out and be judged from where I came from,
but now, I had to show my full potential,
and it scares the crap out of me.

I am so used to being just in the background.
Somebody complementary to the scenery that only follows the leader,
the one who would always perform every instruction to the T.
And yet, here I am now encouraged to share my every point of view.

What if I commit a mistake?
What if my opinion isn't that good enough?
What if I talk nonsense or sound mediocre?
What if they make fun of me or my ideas?

I honestly have so many doubts and fears in my heart.
Which always stops me from giving my all.

It's not that I am complaining.
I know that this is the life that I've always wanted.
It has always been my dream to become an Idol.
But in all honesty, I am having a hard time adjusting to this new me.

There is a big difference between a fantasy of roses made out of dreams
and the thorns of life's reality.

Never have I thought that my life would end up this way.
I guess an Idol's basis of survival is not only his or her talent
as explained by PD' Nim in one of his life sessions with us.
Talent is not just based solely on a person's skill,
but rather, it is based on the being that it belongs to and the values that are deeply rooted within his | her heart, mind, spirit, soul and, strength.

As early as now, I am beginning to feel more and more scared
to the point that it is making me anxious.

I'm just glad I have my unnies to hold my hand every time the going gets tough,
a shoulder to cry on,
especially Jeong-Yeon-Nie.
She has always encouraged me to say what I feel,
even if I was never sure of my feelings at all.
She would look straight into my eyes and listen attentively,
making all the words coming from my lips feel so special.

She would always ask me to do what made me happy,
as long as I won't end up hurting anybody, especially myself.
If I was too scared to execute my ideas,
she would always ask me to explain them further or teach every detail to her so that she could execute it for me.
Forever my sweet and trusting volunteer.

She would always show me that she believes in every decision I make.
Even if I was younger than her, and would often view myself as inexperienced,
she would always treat me as her equal and sometimes even more.
She never focused nor saw my imperfections.
The funny part is that for her,
I am always her perfect Little Mina-ri,
which, in all honesty,
is very much impossible.

Jeong-Yeon-chan is my source of courage,
the pillar I would hold on to whenever life becomes wobbly.
And I promise to always be by her side no matter what other people would say.

I may not be able to reach that point of becoming her Batman's Robin,
the perfect sidekick,
because we all know for a fact that I can never be that grand.

Sadly, I am just a helpless little penguin,
a bird that would always feel safe whenever shrouded by her arms
since I know in my heart of hearts
that I can never take flight
especially when I am alone.

But with Jeong-Yeon-nie,
I know that the possibilities are always endless.
The impossible will always be doable and solvable as long as we had each other.

I am Mina Sharon Myōi 名井 南
미나 묘이 미나
[Myeong Jeong-Nam]

. . . and this is what keeps me going.

🤜 AJA 👊 FIGHTING 🤛