NOT TO BE

5.DESPAIR

Friday, 9:05 am

After 2hours walking I'm going to sit,rest and eat something

While I ate my sandwich I thought about what Zack told me .... Was I really the daughter of a vampire??and also not just any vampire, the KING OF VAMPIRES.

Does that mean that I am the princess?

I don't know anymore what's real and what's not

When I finished my sandwich I just stop for a moment and looked around,I heard the birds singing and felt the wind in my face moving my hair

It's calm and beautiful but I can't stop now so I get up and keep walking

16:30

After walk and eat a cup of times more
I decide to take a nap...because my legs have started to complain

I put the blanket in the wet grass and I lay down

I am looking at the sky through the treetops

My eyelids start to close slowly...and I'm in a total darkness,I hear a very distant voice that resounds everywhere saying  "run, run Lydia..." I start running towards a door with light at the end,but every time I run faster it's further away and I can't reach it...

The door starts to close and I run even faster and faster but I still can't reach it,and the voice doesn't stop whispering "you lose...you lose"

I wake up fast breathing and sweating

It started to get dark so I look at my watch and it indicates that it's already 20:30p.m

How have I been able to sleep so much? And that dream? It was quite strange

But I have to leave it for another moment...now I have to go back home

21:15

Now it's completely dark and despair can with me

-WHY ZACK?!?why did you have to leave  me??-I started screaming

My eyes began to blur from the tears that were rising

-Why me?why all the time, this things happen to me?-I fall in the ground on my knees and I suddenly feel them getting wet

They hurt a little ,like half of my body but in that moment I couldn't care less

I remember all the times that I have trusted in so many people and they have trampled and crushed me, like that time with my "best friends"...

I only told them my secrets like any girl with her best friends, right? that great confidence that I had with them went to the trash when they decided to tell all my deepest secrets to the whole school and then used them against me

I was devastated for several years until a boy came into my life and coincidentally the name of that boy was Z A C K

-I WANT TO GO BACK HOMEEE!!PLEASE GOD LET ME GO BACK HOME-

I started crying while a storm began to fall and drop by drop they fell stronger and stronger on my pale face...but I was still there crying on my knees

-Ohh great!THANKS GOD!-I screamed furiously between sobs at the sky-That's what I meant by "going home" you can't be more efficient-My sarcasm went out as always in the very hideous moments

And I started crying again,sobbing and whispering "please someone wake me up from this nightmare"

After a couple of minutes the storm stop

-Well well well, look who we have here...the little princess crying in her knees to go back home-

I turned around and I saw a woman with a black dress and black/purple hair,she has a necklace very...peculiar

I've never seen one like it

-Who-I tried to say sniffling-Who are you??-

-Ohhhhh riiight you don't know me...-The woman smiled at me approaching

I am so confused right now.Who is she?And what is she doing in the middle of the forest?

Well you can ask that to yourself  too...

-I'm Merla,the next queen of Aephux,after killing you,of course...princess-Her 's' where more large than normal like she was like a kind of snake-Or sshould I call you queen now?whatever-she rolled her eyes- You're going to die anyway...

Merla?Ooooh Zack told me about her...

-Wait...WHAT?!?-I started moving backwards with my hands as she came near me

-Ooooh Are you afraid? Don't worry it won't hurt-Her sarcastic sad grimace gave me chills- I'll do it quickly so you dont have to suffer-She said as she blinked one eye

She starts to move her hands,just like Zack...

-I-Im not armed...-I raised my hands

I didn't know what to say or do.
I was gonna die and I couldn't do anything

My heart started to beat very fast

-I have food if you want...-I started to unpack my bag.

I know I sounded ridiculous but I had to think fast and that gave me time

My lips started to shake...

Oh yeah,I forgot to tell you:

I have a terrible problem with panic attacks

Suddenly the ground started to move and some weeds begin to roll around my legs to leave me without mobility. I try to remove them with my hands but they have thorns and I poke myself when I touch them.

-Ouch!-I said as I put my hand in my mouth so it stops bleeding

Merla seems surprised,she stop moving her hands but won't lowering them

-You are not a vampire?-She seemed surprised and confused at the same time-HHAHAHHA YOU ARE NOT A REAL VAMPIRE!-She burst out of laughter-So this is the girl who is supposed to be the queen of the vampires-She wipes a tear from his dark eye

-So THIS is the girl no one can beat!-She points at me with her long black nails-..HA HA,great joke-she said this last deadly serious.

-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!-I yell at her because I couldn't understand one thing

-Oh Satan! don't tell me you don't even know HAHAHHAH-She started laughing again,her laugh was very high pitched.I couldn't stand it anymore

-Could you shut up please?-I said looking at her with disgust

When I realized what I had just said,I widened my eyes and put my hands in my mouth

With the lack of sleep and with how tired I was I couldn't think straight

At first I thought she was gonna kill me because she stopped laughing so abruptly but then she look at me fiercely

-You could be a great comidian-she recoverd her form her laugh attack-For years that I did not laugh like that, demons!...

I am so confused...Queen of vampires?? that's what Zack mentioned to me...but Wasn't I the princess?!

Is this a fucking dream or a joke?Or am I a real queen of vampires?no no NO! That's imposible.

I am just a normal girl from minneapolis,who studies in Wilmington Shans High School,with a NORMAL life...

I just have to get away from here and don't be anything else...

A suffocating force in my neck pulled me out of my thoughts

It was as if I had dust in my throat...

I couldn't breathe