I don't wanna know who I am without you.

Chapter 1 - ,It was never about the girl.'

‚Listen, dont ever talk to me again!' ‚Whats the matter Joe?', Chandler asked out of breath and closed the door of their apartment loudly. ‚Whats the matter? Oh, I'll tell you what the matter is!', Joey shouted. Chandler had never seen him that angry and... hurt.
,What was the deal with that Woman tonight, huh? The whole Panties-story? Seriously, what the hell Chandler?' Chandler tried to look anywhere but Joeys brown eyes, but although he focused on the black TV behind his friend, he wasnt able to form a clear sentence. ‚Well, I-..look Joe, eh,.. I...God, why does that even bother you that much? I was just havin' fun! We agreed on being able to see other people outside of our relationship. One partner isnt really enough, Those were your words, remember?' Gesturing wildly Chandler finished his monologue, still not able to look into Joeys eyes. ‚No, Chan.', the younger one said bitter and quiet. ‚Those last one were your words.' Finally Chandlers Eyes met Joeys, and as soon as the eye contact happened, Chandler regretted it.
Joey had tears in his eyes, one rolled down his cheek. The eyes of the guy, who supported Chandler everytime, who praid for him to reach his goals, those eyes who weren't able to meet Chandlers when Joey told his friend that he felt more than just friendship for him. Those beautiful eyes seemed broken. No gentle light was in them anymore. ‚Joe..', Chandler whispered and came close to his friend, closer and closer until he was able to touch his face carefully, as if the younger one could burst into shadders any moment. Joey shivered. Neither of them could tell if it was from the cold air in the apartment or something other. It didn't really matter. ‚Why does the date with that girl bothers you so much?' Chandler asked quietly and wiped the tear away. Joey swallowed. ‚Chan, it's not the girl. It was never about the girl.'
Joey looked down, almost embarassed of what he said next. Chandler touched his chin gently and lifted his head, so their eyes could meet again. >why do his eyes need to be this beautiful?< Joey thought, at the same time Chandler had the feeling that he looked directly in the brunettes endless soul. Joey closed his eyes, interrupted the intimite contact of them as another tear crawled down his cheek slowly. ‚It-...', Joey felt like time was standing still. ‚It was always about you. I love you.'
In the next seconds that seemed to be minutes, hours, maybe even a lifetime, Joey could see a thousand emotions rushing through Chandlers face, confusion, love, fear, relief and almost panic. Joey touched Chandlers arms and held him strong, but not to tight. He knew the other one good enough to know that Chandlers next reaction would be a sarcastic comment or sudden leaving. Joey couldn't live with any of them.
He kept talking, formed the last three words he said into different sentences with the same meaning. ‚Chan, when you were with this girl, I didn't know you anymore. You laughed with her, hang on her lips so desperate and needy and I noticed that she touched you at the table in a public place, you melted into her touch. And I saw the fire in your eyes as you followed her into the bathroom. I knew damn well what you two were planning on doing in there, you know? I knew that, and I remembered the ground rule we settled on on the same day we got together, you remember it?'
Chandler nodded slowly and answered almost silently: ‚Nobody's allowed to know.' ‚Yes. Nobody. That means for me that I'm not allowed to look at you the way you deserve it, I'm not allowed to touch you in any way, and most important: I'm not allowed to love you unless we are among us. And there comes this women and gets to touch you, speak to you the way she wants to and sit next to you? Chandler I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore.' ‚W- what do you mean?', asked Chandler, although he already knew what the answer was going to be and he was too afraid to hear it. But Joey didn't say what Chandler thought. Joey came a bit closer to him, looked him deeply into the eyes.
,Chan, I love you. More than myself, I look at you and I see the greatest, funniest, honest and most beautiful guy in the world. You are everything to me. I don't wanna to keep this a secret, 'cause my love is too big to just-... just breath it away. I dont want to share you with anyone, ever.' Slowly Joey took a step back and went on one knee, not breaking eye contact with Chandler as he reached into his pocket and grabbed a small box out of it. Chandler gasped quietly. ‚Chandler bing,', Joey started with his pure and loving voice. ‚Will you marry me?'

‚Yes!', Chandler shouted, grabbed Joeys arm and pulled him into a long and strong hug. After that he gave joey a deep kiss and held his face while looking at Joey. He was beautiful, he grinned although the sign of his tears were still clearly visible. ‚Joey Tribbiani, I-...' Chandler laughed a bit insecure and shook his head, looked at him with a honest, vulnerable and loving look. ‚You are the most caring person I know and I think I always knew you were..' He paused a while. ‚..the one. I cant imagine a life without you and I dont want to. I dont want to know who I am without you. You complete me, and when I see you I feel like... like there is no tomorrow or any other day, but there is you. Not you and me, you with me. Joe with Chan. Theres nothing I want more than to marry you, Joey Tribbiani.' during his speech, Chandlers eyes got more and more wet, and as they fell into each others arms, time stood still again and there was no tomorrow or any other day, there was just...
Joey with Chandler.

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Thank you so so much for reading this! I would love to read your opinion and feedback here, so I can improve myself or know if you liked my story :))
And since this was my first oneshot in english, please forgive me some mistakes :D