Her Fragmented Mind

From Black to Black

Kristin O'Reilly awoke with a start. The terrible dream she had suffered through still vivid in her mind, however quickly receding. She couldn't be sure but something about it had felt real, like it was at least in part a memory. But that couldn't be the case, she was sure nothing like that had ever happened in her life.

Sweat clung to her forehead causing her auburn hair to hang lifelessly around her thin face. Her pajama singlet was close to soaked through and the legs of the pants she wore stuck to her own.

She glanced over at her phone, noticing that it was already a quarter to six in the morning and decided that she would not be able to get any more sleep. Leaning over to her side table she collected her phone and headphones, pushing the earbuds into her ears and a couple of taps had her favourite One Ok Rock song playing in her head. This was her wake up routine most mornings.

Swinging her legs off the bed she crossed the floor to the door, opening it slightly. Pausing the music, she heard the sound of cutlery jangling in the drawer coming from the kitchen. Sam must be up already.

Sam, or rather Uncle Sam, was the younger brother of Kristin's mother, and for the last four years, the guardian of Kristin. Her uncle had taken her in after her mother had passed and had been trying to put the pieces of her life back together.

For her part Kristin didn't remember her mother's passing, nor much of her childhood. She often wondered if this was a blessing or a curse. If her nightmares were memories however it must be a blessing to not remember.

Kristin decided that socialising with her uncle would be preferable to sitting in her room until she needed to leave for class and so left the quiet of her room for the noise of the kitchen.

She descended the stars, her bare feet slapping slightly on the hardwood surface. As she was just about to step off the last stair and round the corner into the kitchen a small coffee cream and seal brown shape darted from the doorway directly across her path. After the near collision had stumbled Kristin, the small creature tore off to terrorise some other part of the house.

"You could have warned me she was waiting there," Kristin said as she regained her balance and entered the kitchen.

"And let you miss her saying good morning to you?" replied her uncle from the breakfast bar, "she would be so disappointed."

Sam wasn't terribly old for an uncle, having been just eighteen when his older sister gave birth to Kristin. His shaggy dark hair seemed barely controlled, giving him a permanent just-woke-up look. His dark eyes held a warmth and intelligence that always took Kristin aback.

Kristin shook her head, her uncle's sense of humour really left something to be desired. She crossed the floor to the sink, and took a glass from the cupboard to her right and poured herself a glass of water.

"You are up early for a Tuesday," her uncle noted more seriously, "was it another nightmare?"

Kristin simply nodded as a reply.

"Do you remember anything about it?" her uncle asked, concern touching his voice.

"Only that it felt so real, like it had been something I have experienced before," Kristin replied before taking a long drink of water from her glass.

"I'm sorry your morning has started so poorly," Sam offered, "but please try to talk about this with Sofia this afternoon."

Sofia Kopf was the psychologist Kristin had been seeing for the past few months. There had been a few before her, and Kristin felt there would be many more to come, if her uncle had his way.

"I'll try, but there's not much to say really," Kristin said, "like I said I don't really remember what happened."

A loud section of the current song came up as her uncle tried to say something, prompting him to point to his own ears.

Kristin removed one of the buds from her ear, "what was that?"

"First, I really wish you wouldn't wear those all the time. And second, you should think about getting ready. Have you finished that piece for your class today?" Sam asked.

"They help," was all she said in reply.

Kristin moved on autopilot to get her self ready for the day, making sure to take her antidepressants and hormones with the last of the water from her glass.

As she was turning to put the glass in the sink something outside the window facing the neighbour's house shone in her eye causing her to misjudge where the sink was. She felt the glass leave her hand, and heard the ear piercing sound of glass shattering against the floor.

Sam quickly got up from his seat, and retrieved the broom and began sweeping up the glass, asking Kristin if she was alright. Instead of a response, Kristin mumbled something quietly. Her eyes were cast towards her hand with an unfocused stare.

The last thing Kristin remembered was a voice that pushed past her. The voice was comforting, reassuring. It felt safe to let the voice take charge.

"I'll make sure we are safe," was all it said.

And then Kristin floated off into a dark void.