The Moment I Knew
“Happy birthday lad!” Niall grinned and hugged Louis tightly, pushing a badly wrapped present into his arms and throwing his arm around Louis’ suspender clad shoulder.
Louis smiled back tightly, putting the present onto the growing pile of gifts. “Thanks for the party Niall, it’s great.”
Niall beamed at him, his smile like sunshine and Louis felt a pang of guilt for not enjoying being unable to enjoy his party; everyone else was having a blast. But Harry wasn’t here and to Louis, that was the only thing that mattered.
You should have been there, should have burst through the door, with that
‘baby I’m right here’ smile, and it would have felt like, a million little shining stars that just aligned.
And I would have been so happy…
Louis nodded absentmindedly at something his sister Lottie said to him, sipping at his vodka and coke while keeping one eye on the door. Waiting, praying, hoping, that that familiar curly mob would stroll through the door and into Louis’ arms.
He wanted to think Harry was just late, but it had been 3 hours since the party had begun and the stars had long since come out. A sliver of doubt wrapped itself around Louis’ heart, suggesting that maybe, just maybe, Harry was coming.
Christmas lights glisten, I’ve got my eye on the door, just waiting for you
To walk in, but the time is ticking and people ask me how I’ve been, as I comb back through my memory.
How you said you’d be here, you said you’d be here.
And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red
Lipstick, with no-one to impress, and they’re
All laughing as I’m looking around the room, and there’s one thing missing…
And that was the moment I knew.
He wasn’t coming.
Louis felt like someone had plunged a knife into his very heart. He couldn’t believe Harry wasn’t going to turn up to his birthday, his 21st birthday party. His best friend had abandoned him for a girl...again. Any other time Louis would have shrugged it off, welcoming him home with open arms when he appeared in the morning all dimpled smiles and apologies, but not this time. Not on his birthday.
And the hours pass by, and I just want to be alone, but your close friends
Always seem to know when there’s
Something really wrong, so they follow me down the hall, and there in the
Bathroom I try not to fall apart, as the
Sinking feeling starts, and I say hopelessly… he said he’d be here.
“Liam, he said he’d be here. He promised.” Louis’ lower lip wobbled and he gripped the sink tightly, knuckles turning white as he tried not to break apart.
“I’m so sorry Lou,” Liam wrapped his arms around his best friend and let him sob into his shoulder.
“It’s my birthday and he doesn’t even care.” The tears soaked through Liam’s white shirt and he gripped Louis tightly when his knees started to buckle, sliding them down the wall until they were crumpled on the floor.
And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red
Lipstick, with no-one to impress, and they’re
All laughing and asking me all about you but there’s one thing missing…
And that was the moment I knew.
What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of
Everyone you know?
“Lou, baby, where’s Harry?” Jay asked, casting a worried eye across the hordes of guests, none of whom were his son’s best friend, his other half. Louis just shook his head sadly, not even attempting to stop the tears that were streaming down his face by this point.
His voice cracked with his heart, “He’s not coming mum.”
And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who
Didn’t show?
You should have been here, and I would have been so happy.
And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red
Lipstick, with no-one to impress, and they’re
All sitting around me singing ‘Happy Birthday To You’ and there’s one thing
Missing…and that was the moment I knew.
The cake was a huge three tier monstrosity of chocolate with all the boys faces plastered across it. It was perfect. But everything was falling apart.
They were all looking expectantly at Louis. He was the one everyone relied on for every social situation; he could always get a laugh and a smile just by being himself. But he couldn’t even muster up a smile for his mum.
“Thank you so much for coming, it means a lot to me.” Louis murmured into the microphone, not a trace of his usually bubbly, joking ways evident. “I hope you all have a great night.” Louis’ voice quavered as he looked around the sea of faceless people. Liam caught the crumpling of Louis’ face before it happened and started up the hurrays as Louis pushed through the crowd and out into the cold, winter air.
You called me later and said ‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it, ’ and I said, ‘I’m
Sorry too.’
Louis opened the door of his and Harry’s flat silently, not sure whether it would be better or worse if Harry was there. The lights were off; he was alone. He was so alone. Louis finally crumbled, dropping his coat on the floor he slid down the wall in a heap, sobbing his heart out, hands spread wide on the floor, searching for something to anchor him. Why couldn’t Louis be first for once? Even on his birthday, Louis wasn’t the most important person to Harry.
Louis’ phone blared out his ringtone loudly and his heart jolted as he saw the caller ID. Harry. He answered the call with fumbling fingers, “Hel-lo?” His voice cracked, hoarse from crying.
“Lou, I am sorry I didn’t make it. Caroline needed me to come over and I thought I would make it back in time for the party. I’m so sorry.”
And that was the moment I knew…
Harry swung open the door to his and Louis’ flat, balancing Louis’ favourite coffee and blueberry muffin from a little cafe they loved around the street. “Boobear? I have a present for you.” Harry walked further into the living room; it was strangely silent. “Boo?” Louis’ door was open; Harry popped his head round the door but his words died on his lips and he clutched the doorframe, the coffee spilling over the lid as his body jolted. The room was empty. Louis wasn’t there, his clothes weren’t there, hell even his bed had gone. On the dressing table was a note.
“I’m sorry too Harry.” Next to it was the key to their flat.
He was gone.
