The Key

Chapter 9

I didn't sleep the whole night. Not even for five minutes, which would've been better than nothing. All I could do was think about everything they had told me, what I'd apparently relived in my dreams and the possibility even of what I could dream next. And honestly my biggest fear was that I would relive one of those lives where I would kill myself. That I would watch Anthony die again and follow not long after him. Or that I would lose all hope in them saving me, to the point where I thought death was a better option. That one definitely scared me more. With all of that swirling in my head, I refused to let myself sleep.

            Instead, I just stared up at the ceiling, trying to listen for anything going on outside. About twenty minutes after I had run in here, I heard faint voices in the hall as they passed by to their rooms. Two of them lingered outside of my room door for a bit, exchanging words I couldn't hear that well, and I knew it had to be Thomas and Anthony. Finally the voices stopped, but I got the sudden feeling that someone was on the other side of my door. I held my breath like it was going to help me listen better and let it out when I felt that they were gone. After that, I spent hours shifting on the bed, getting up to pace back and forth and sitting again. It wasn't until I heard voices in the hall again that I realized it must've been morning. I got up for the hundredth time, finally wondering about the clothes Anthony said Lauren and Andrea had gotten me.

            I glanced at the dresser uncertainly, positive it couldn't be in there and then shaking my head in disbelief when I found they were. “Why wouldn't they be,” I said quietly into my clothes as I took them out. “This is my room, right?” I sighed, picking out a pair of my favorite black jeans with a rip in one knee and a white T- shirt a friend had given me with the quote “Save me Barry” from Misfits. I changed into it, putting my boots back on but opting for not tying up the laces. There was a small rectangular mirror in one of the drawers and I took it out, propping it up against the journals in the bookshelf as I braided my hair into french braids.

            As I was reaching to take the mirror down, my eyes drifted slightly to the side and stopped on one of the journals. Anthony's name was carved into the spine and my hand drifted to the side to trace it. Unlike last night, I had the sudden urge to open it and read it but before I could, a knock at the door startled me. My hand immediately pulled away from the journal, knocking the mirror off the shelf. I fumbled to catch it and hug it to my chest in relief as they knocked again. “Dawn, I know you're awake,” Thomas said through the door and I silently gave it a look. How would he even know that when I barely made a sound? “Are you coming out for breakfast or what? Lauren's making your favorite...”

            “Chocolate chip pancakes?” I blurted out without thinking. I bit down on my lip to keep from saying more and mentally scolded myself.

            “Yeah,” he chuckled. “So you coming?”

            I wanted to. I was hungry and never in my life turned down the offer of chocolate chip pancakes. But if I went, that meant I was going to be eating with all of them like they weren't still strangers. Like we were all just one big happy family and it just didn't feel right to me yet. I just barely knew anything about Anthony, but everyone else was still a mystery to me. “I- I don't think so,” I answered, putting the mirror down on the dresser. “I'm not feeling too good.”

            There was a pause that made me wonder if Thomas had left, but then he spoke. “Do you need a bathroom or something?” he asked, and something about the way he said it made me feel guilty for lying.

            “Actually, yeah, I do,” I said, happy to not have to lie this time. I didn't realize until he said it that I actually had to use the bathroom and Anthony hadn't pointed one out last night.