Drop Everything

I should be happy. I had just finished writing all of my vows for the big day this weekend. I had to admit I had those pre-wedding jitters but nothing could protect me from my own mind. The only thing that could soothe me were the sweet stings of delicate metal on my forearm. It was a sickeningly sweet sensation, somehow calming but also a terrible reminder that my life was somehow pointless and my death was imminent. 

"(Y/N), rehearsal dinner is in an hour. You ready to go yet?" Brendon was lightly tapping on the bathroom door. I was crouched over the tub as I sat on the toilet.

"Shit. I forgot." I hissed at myself. "Not yet...I think we'll be late." I yelled through the wooden door.

"What? You've been in there for a half hour!" He complained, twisting the knob. My panic set in. I had no time to clean up.

"D-don't come in!" I stuttered, reaching to turn on the water in the tub.

"(Y/N), what the ever-living fuck are you doing?!" He panicked, coming to my side and gripping my wrist hard away from my opposite hand where the dirty razor blade stared at me threateningly.

"I can't." I whimpered, unable to speak. This isn't the first time he's caught me in the act. I guess I just suck at being secretive.

"But...we're getting married this weekend...doesn't that make you happy?" He worried, picking me up gently and helping me wash up in the sink. I nodded slowly.

"It's not you." I started.

"Listen, if you start thinking you're not good enough for me..." He growled lightly. "I fell for you for a reason. If I didn't love you I wouldn't be marrying you let alone with you. I'm in it for the long haul. I'm going to take care of you no matter what." His voice was stern.

"I love you." I whispered, wincing as the water stung the new wounds. Thank God my dress has longer sleeves to hide these scars.

Brendon helped me every night. He was always willing to help me and I never understood why. Everything he did help me prepare for our best day.

I got up early, had everyone poking and prodding me with styling tools, and was stuck in this tight dress. 

Walking down the aisle was a dream, but hearing Brendon say his vows out loud nearly broke my heart. It was the best reminder that he was there for me throughout everything, ready to save me at the drop of a hat. He was all I needed. Those words were all I needed.