My name is Clarke and I get bullied a lot for liking girls. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and they all have certain beliefs on sexuality. Luckily my mom was understanding about how I couldn't control what my heart wants. She just encourages me not to show it too much in public.
She says once she gets enough money we could move but she's been saying that for years now so i've just accepted that it was never gonna happen. One day I tried to ask my crush niylah out but she rejected me and said I was weird and called me a bunch of names. She told the whole school and they have been bullying me ever since. That was 4 years ago in 7th grade. Her posse has gotten bigger. Now it's niylah, ontari, raven, octavia. She always convinces the new girls that i'm weird and have a disease so I won't be surprised if someone new shows up today with them to bully me.
I only have one friend. His name is murphy. He helps me when My mom is too busy in the hospital. My dad died in space. He was an astronaut for NASA and while he was on the way back from the moon a comet hit his spaceship so he suffocated into the depths of space. I was only in 5th grade when it happened.
Today is the first day of 11th grade and I really don't want to go because murphy never comes to school on the first day of school so he can't protect me. It's like a tradition for him not to come the first day. It used to just be because he hated seeing how much bellamy had gotten cuter during the summer but now he just likes to sleep in. He stopped liking bellamy after he found out what him and his sister thought of the lgbtq community.
"Clarke come one wake up! I made pancakes!" My mom yelled at me from down stairs in the kitchen
"I'm coming! I'm trying to pick out an outfit!" I yelled as I looked at the outfits laid out on my bed. One was black ripped jeans with a sweatshirt and matching flannel or simple ripped jeans and my favorite hoodie.
I decided to go with the black ripped jeans outfit just because I don't want to be afraid to show my style anymore. As I made my way downstairs I could smell the pancakes and bacon my mom made. First days of school are special because my mom always takes off work to be able to make me breakfast. She works at the hospital so she always works early mornings and late nights but she always make time on the weekend to teach me how to make new foods. Usually murphy joins us and learns a few things or he just sits and watches then offers to taste test everything.
"Clarke honey. I don't think you should wear that to school today" My mom said worried as she looked at my outfit from across the table
"I know mom but I really want to wear this today. I promise it will be fine. It's just one day" I said trying to convince my mom and myself. I already know I will get beaten extra for wearing this but I have to start trying to stick up for myself.
"Ok clarke. I just want to protect you. I know you know about what other people of your sexuality and I just don't want you getting hurt." My mom said sadly as she started to eat her food
"I know mom"
___________________________
"WELCOME TO POLIS HIGH" the giant sign outside my school says. Something more fitting would be "YOU'RE A DISGRACE IF YOU'RE NOT PERFECT ENOUGH TO MY LIKING" considering all the bullying I get from being different from the rest
"Well well well if it isn't the disease girl walking around spreading her germs I bet" The familiar voice I've been dreading and avoiding all summer said
"Come on clarke! Show her you're not afraid"
"But I am afraid you dumbass!"
"Well don't show it!"
