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I guess he was stupid. My childhood friend. A really big idiot but why do I find it difficult to hide it from him? He always notices these things easily. It was stupid of me to try to hide it bit I still did.

Time skipped

The doorbell rang a couple of time but my body was too weak to go and get it. The door-pad sound echo in the house and then followed by the sound of the door opening.

'It must've been mom, she might have bought medicine for me'

"Iwa-chan? Are you okay? The teacher asked me to send you your homework!" He walked into the house.

"Wake up, I bought some medicine and porridge," he said softly as he brings it into the room.

I opened my puffy eyes. The view was amazing as I opened them. His fluffy hair looked soft today and his face glow. My eyes immediately started to form tears.

"Iwa-chan? Are you crying? Over an small cold?" He said as he giggle.

"Shut up, it's because you looked so ugly that I got scared," I said out. After seeing him, the suffocating feeling was long gone.

"Ahh, you are so mean although I went out of the way to cancel my date and make my way here," he whined.

Ahh of course, he have a girlfriend, a partner. I could not even be with him. It was impossible but I was hoping he would not notice it.

"Wait your room smell different. It smells kinda sweet," he said as he sniffs a little more.

"Yea, umm my mom got a new candle, I guess the smell slipped in," I say as I laugh nervously.

I could not tell you yet. If I did, I would ruin your happiness. It's actually the smell of blue lily. Your favourite flower.

Time skipped

I watched as he lie on the futon right beside my bed. Everyday I think of you, every time you smile, every time you laugh. It's stupid because when I look at you like this, the urge to kiss you is strong. Then it hit me, that in reality, holding you belongs to my dream.

"Stupidkawa, you should realise it by now," I softly say as my eyes softly close.

"How are you feeling? Better?" He asked as he makes his way towards my desk.

"Yeah, also thank you for that day, here, a ticket to the aquarium for you and your girlfriend," I said as I passed him the envelope.

It's fine for you to be happy. Either way, I'll go get the surgery for my disease soon. Then, then the pain will go away and he don't have to worry anymore.

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