Miraculous Ladybug Fanfic- Adrien Agreste: Marinette's Bully

guilt

(TW: SELF-HATRED, SELF HARM MENTION)

(CHAT POV)

I moved away from the window just as Marinette turned to her side, hoping I was quick enough for her not to notice my presence.

I hadn't meant to eavesdrop, just check on her. Just make sure she was okay after the fight. But then I heard my name and I froze. Every word that followed felt like a knife to the chest. A well deserved one at that.

I knew, partially. My conversation with Ladybug was just earlier today. But I didn't know how bad it was. I didn't know that before all of this, she was in love with me. I didn't know how bad her self-harm was. I didn't know that it was all because of me.

The guilt was too much. I had even seen the cuts at one point and I hadn't cared. I hadn't fucking cared.

I didn't even realize it but I was crying again. The guilt was eating me up inside. Every action I had taken replaying in my mind again and again.

Calling Marinette names. Shoving her in the hallway. Conversations with Chloe about her that lasted hours with not a single good word spoken. Marinette afraid. Closed off. Red on her arm. So much red.

I couldn't breathe. It was too much.

I had to get away. Get away from Marinette. I couldn't hurt her anymore. My movements were quick but staggered and uneven. I was tripping and stumbling the whole time but I didn't care. I just kept moving.

I ran until my legs were ready to give out on me. Until my tears were blurring my vision to the point I couldn't see the next place I was going to jump.

Finally, I stopped.

The second I did, the guilt returned tenfold. Now, it reminded me of my father. My father who was a cold and callous man. Who was a terrible person and an even worse father. Who had tried destroying the city more times than I can count.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did the grief pull at every smile he'd ever given me? Every gift. Every compliment. Every good memory.

It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and I couldn't even begin to explain why.

-----

I was still there hours later when the sun came up and people started leaving their houses for work or school. At first, I was tempted to just not go. Just stay here in my little pocket of sadness and guilt.

But, Marinette.

I needed to apologize to her. Again. Hearing what I heard last night made everything so much worse. And for leaving her. For running after I kil-

After the fight.

I stood up, legs unsteady after staying in the same position all night. After a moment of hesitation, I started moving. I moved more on autopilot than anything. Barely paying attention to where I was going until I was at the back of the school, hidden from view.

I gave myself a minute of mental preparation before I started de-transformed and started my search. School had yet to begin so there were just a bunch of students walking around. I looked around for a pair of blue ponytails or her signature pink jeans. Just any sign of her.

"-rien? Hello?" A familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked in front of me, Jennifer and Jess were staring right at me expectantly.

"I...Sorry I was just looking for Marinette. Kinda zoned out." Jess's gaze softened at the answer and glanced at Jennifer who grabbed my arm and started pulling me into an empty corner.

"C'mon lover boy, this is a conversation to have in private," She grumbled as she pulled me until we were far enough to keep people from hearing. "Marinette's not coming to school today." My heart dropped. "If you don't remember, she was severely injured last night. Al is taking care of her for the rest of the week."

Slowly, I processed the information. Of course, she wasn't coming. I was so stupid

"I am such an idiot. I didn't even consider she would stay home ." I rubbed my eyes and sighed. "Sorry, it's just...With my dad and everything, I didn't get any sleep. I'm really out of it." My voice cracked a bit at the admission but I refused to start crying again.

"Hey, it's alright Adrien," Jess spoke softly, rubbing my arm. "We're here for you if you need anything."

I stayed silent and after a moment, Jennifer spoke, "Seriously dude, that was messed up but you did what you had to do. And like Jess said, we're here for you if you need it. "

Their words should have been comforting but instead, they just made me feel sick. I didn't deserve that kind of sympathy.

"I uh...Uhm. What about Gloria? Is she alright?" I desperately tried to change the subject to something, anything else.

There was only a slight hesitation before Jennifer responded. "She's fine. You didn't cause any actual damage. She just decided to stay home because there were a couple of bruises that were a bit too noticeable." Guilt gnawed at me. Another person I'd hurt. I'd tried to keep the damage minimal but guess I couldn't even do that right.

Jess seemed to have noticed my reaction and opened her mouth to speak before a loud shrill came from my side.

"ADRIEN!" I froze up. Chloe. The reason I was in this goddamn mess in the first place. "Heyyy Adrien~, Why are you hanging out with them?" She grabbed onto my arm as she spoke and shot Jess and Jennifer a glare.

I took a deep breath. It was not the time to lose my temper. Not here. "Chloe." I tried to keep my voice level. "Get away from me."

Chloe just rolled her eyes. "Playing hard to get again Adrien? You're no fun. Anywayyy, now that you're here to protect me- wanna have a go at Mari? We haven't done that in a while." Every bit of restraint I had was broken the second I heard Marinette's name.

I ripped my arm away from her and shoved her to the ground.

"Jesus Christ Chloe do you not know when to stop" Chloe looked surprised, hurt even. Good. "Do you not understand the concept of just shutting the fuck up. You lied to me for months. You told me she slapped you, she hurt you. For no reason. You cried to me about how she was the reason everyone hated you. That she was spreading rumors. You told me how evil Marinette was!" I was shouting at this point. People were staring but I just kept going, words bubbling up quicker than I could stop them. "And it was all a lie! Every last bit of it. I helped you terrorize an innocent girl for months just so that you could fulfill your little fantasy-"

"Adrien, what are you talking about?" Jess's voice made me freeze. Right. They were new. They didn't know.

"Didn't you hear?" A dark laugh came out of me, slowly turning more into crying than laughing. "I bullied Marinette. I bullied her for months. I made fun of her, I taunted her. I did it all. And now I've hurt her so bad I can't go back. I..." My voice tapered off until I was just standing there sobbing. Distantly, I could hear someone trying to talk to me, trying to calm me down. But all I could process was that it was too much.

So, for the third time in the past two days, I ran.

(A/N: I'm not sure what happened but the first time I uploaded this- there were literally no views. I waited a day and nothing changed so I figured I should just reupload it. The next chapter is still coming out tomorrow don't worry. I just wanted to re-upload it incase Wattpad glitched or something!)