A Nightmare in Heaven

Chapter 4

Draco was unnaturally happy about being the person who introduced alcohol to Harry Potter. It was a bottle of Ogden’s Finest, something that his parents saw fit to gift him with earlier that year for his birthday and now for the holiday season. And somehow, Draco managed to convince Harry to play a drinking game which resulted in the two being far too drunk to really think about what they said before they said it, but not far enough to forget everything the next day. They wandered around the castle, arm in arm, singing, badly, the school song and giggling far too much. 

It took a long time for the two of them to make it to the Room of Requirement, but they did finally make it and Harry had to try no less than half a dozen times to get the room to show itself. Inside there was a rather nice sitting room with a huge bed off to the side with hangover potions on each bedside table. A fireplace running the length of the wall crackled happily while they stumbled to the plush couch. 

“I can’t believe you got me drunk!”

“No, you got me drunk, remember?” At this, Harry closed his eyes and opened them again in one really long blink. 

“No, don’t do that to me. You got me drunk, not the other way ‘round. Ron does that and I’ve decided I don’t like it.” Draco patted himself on the back for not laughing at the way Harry’s speech sped up and slowed down in odd places, but managed to focus on the issue at hand. 

“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, you know.”

Instead of placating Harry, this statement did just the opposite. 

“I bloody well know that! But you don’t understand, he’s always trying to be better than his brothers and his family doesn’t have enough money to go around and he’s just trying to make the best of a bad situation. It’s not his fault he doesn’t know how to handle it! His family puts a lot of pressure on him to be better.” Draco shook his head and focused on needing a sobriety potion. The Room, being the best thing ever at that moment, supplied two on the coffee table. He drank one and handed the other to Harry. 

“We’re too drunk to be having this conversation right now, drink that.” The potion kicked in remarkably quickly; you could see the exact moment Harry sobered up in his facial expression. 

“I’m not sure I like alcohol so much. I’ve said too much.” 

Overwhelming guilt at the things he’d said about Ron flooded Harry’s system when the sobriety potion chased away the pleasant fog the alcohol had him in. He shouldn’t have said those things about Ron, Ron was a good person. Wasn’t he? 

So why didn’t Harry feel worse about what he’d said? 

“Harry, I think you need to be honest with me. And with yourself. Is Ron a good person?”

“Of course he is! He spends tons of time with Lavender when she asks him for company and he’s always trying to get Seamus and Dean to help him pull Neville out of his shell. He’s constantly supporting his sister, and he’s always helping younger years get to class without getting lost.”

“But is he a good person to you?”

“Well-I…” Harry hesitated, trying to remember the last time Ron was a good person to him. It was harder than it should have been, but Ron had been through a lot of hard times lately. “He’s been through a lot lately, but that’s what friends are for. They support you most when you’re having a rough go of it.”

“Okay, what about me? Am I a good person to you?”

“Pfft, what sort of question is that? Of course you’ve been a good person to me. You help me study and keep me from being too distracted when I’m writing my potions essays-hell, you’ve even helped me a few times when you notice I’ve got it all wrong. And you don’t pry if I change the subject either.” 

“Glad to hear it. Now does Ron treat you the same way I treat you? Or even close to it?”

Try as hard as he might, Harry simply couldn’t remember a time when Ron had been as good of a friend to him as he had been to Ron. Sure, Ron had talked trash with him about the Dursleys, but how much of that was being a good friend and how much was simply rolling along with it because it was convenient?

“I...guess it’s been awhile.” Admitting that out loud was one of the hardest things Harry had done to date. It was true, Ron hadn’t been a good friend for a long, long time. In fact, now that he thought a bit more on it, he hadn’t seen Ron do anything for him that wasn’t immediately followed by him complaining about one situation or another that Harry had come in to save him with. Realizing that hurt, and a part of him wanted to scream that he was having a rough go of it and that once his life evened out financially, presumably once he got a job out of school, that he’d go back to being the friend Harry had once seen in him. 

“Doesn’t that bother you? That it’s been so long you had to think about it?”

“Of course it bloody well bothers me! I keep hoping that he’ll come around and that he’ll even out and maybe that’s true but I haven’t seen it happen yet! And that sucks! I know he’s capable of being a really good person and a wonderful friend but he’s so wrapped up in his own little world that he doesn’t care to be a better person. I keep thinking that maybe if he spends enough time around me that maybe he’ll start being better, that he’ll learn by being around it all the time but…”

“But?”

“But I don’t think that will happen. I’ve got to try, though, or what kind of person does that make me? The kind that gives up on everyone? I don’t want to give up on people, that’s a horrid thing to do.” Draco reached out and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. 

“Harry, you can’t help everyone. Sometimes, people are beyond our capabilities. And that’s okay. You might not have the skillset to help him; or he just doesn’t want to be helped by anyone. That’s not your fault. Just because you have to give up on someone, doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply means you’re acknowledging that they’re beyond your reach and it’s healthier for you to let them go.” Harry nodded and tried to ignore the way his heart squeezed. 

“You’re right. But I live in the same dorm as him, and I don’t want to mess that arrangement up. We’ve still got quite a ways to go living in close quarters.” 

“We’ll figure that out in time. For now, just focus on being happy.”