Harry Potter One Shots

Keeping Up With The Death Eaters Pt 2

A/N: Things Y/n has said during meetings

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Voldemort: "Hey hey! I'm talking."

Y/n: "Ok my apologies Mr. Tommy."

Voldemort: "Mr. who?"

Snape: "He not a boy, it's Voldemort."

Voldemort: "It's Lord Voldemort be quiet."

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*Y/n walks in and slams the door*

Lucius: "Don't slam my door."

Y/n: "I'll slam whatever I want!"

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*Blaise, Y/n, Draco, Mattheo and Lorenzo hanging out and smoking*

Bellatrix: *Walks in* "I know 1 in 5 teenagers smoke."

Bellatrix: *She starts pointing at everyone and counts "1. 2. 3. 4. 5."

Bellatrix: "Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them there had better be a cigarette between these two fingers." *Lifts up pointer and middle finger* "Come on people hop to."

*Everyone stays quiet for a second before Mattheo gives her a cigarette and Lorenzo lights it*

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Voldemort: "This is the land of your people."

Y/n: "This is not the land. This is Malfoy Manor."

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Y/n: "How do you know what's good for me?"

Voldemort: That's my opinion!"

Death eaters: 👁👄👁

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Draco: "It's loving a Weasley for me."

Y/n: "It's the daddy issues for me."

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Mattheo: "And you did this for what?"

Y/n: "Why not?"

Mattheo: "Why?!"

Y/n: "Why not?"

Mattheo: "Why though."

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*Voldemort murders Y/n's ex*

Voldemort: "SURPRISE SHAWTAY!"

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Draco: "I've got one."

Y/n: "Yeah."

Draco: "What's your body count?"

Y/n: "Oh wow, I wasn't expecting you to say that. Um ok, mines really low. I'm embarrassed it's 3."

Draco: "3."

Y/n: "Yeah, yours is high, isn't it."

Draco: "112."

Y/n: "No way, you're lying. I don't believe you. There's no way you can bury 112 bodies. And not get caught."

*Draco spits out his drink*

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*Y/n and Bellatrix meeting for the first time*

Voldemort: "I thought you guys were fighting."

Bellatrix: "Fighting?"

Y/n: "Why would be fighting?"

Voldemort: "Well, you're both anti-social misfits filled with anger and rage."

Bellatrix: "What, is that why you haven't invited me over since she moved in?"

Y/n: "And why you've never wanted me to meet her?"

Voldemort: "Well yeah."

Bellatrix: "What did you think would happen?"

Voldemort: "Murder."

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Voldemort: "What was your dream job when you were a kid, speed round first thing that comes to your mind."

Draco: "NBA player."

Severus: "Deep sea diver."

Y/n: "Mermaid."

Mattheo: "Ahhahh... fireman."

Bellatrix: "Hooker."

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*Chamber of Secrets w/ Y/n*

Y/n: Harry Potter to the Chamber of Secrets... Harry Potter to the Chamber of Secrets. Tom and I have a little surprise for you."

*Tom is holding a baby basilisk* *Harry walks in*

Harry: "Is that a chicken? Wait? What is that?"

Basilisk: "What did he sayyy."

Harry: "What is that? Is that a little pig?"

Y/n, Tom and Basilisk: 👁👄👁

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Mattheo: "Would you call me selfish?"

Y/n: "No. Not to your face."

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*Y/n and Mattheo's birthday*

Narcissa: "Y/n this is for you." *Hands Y/n a bag*

Y/n: "A bag!"

Narcissa: "Yup."

Y/n: "I love bags!"

The Death Eaters: "We know."

Narcissa: "What there's something in it."

Y/n: "What?"

Narcissa: "Open it."

Y/n: "No."

Narcissa: "Just open it."

Y/n: "No. I don't want to."

Mattheo: "Y/n open the damn bag."

Narcissa: "I swear you're gonna like it, just open it."

Y/n: *opens the bag* Little bags!"

Narcissa: "See I told you."

Y/n: "I love bags!" *starts to cry*

The Death Eaters: "We know."

Mattheo: "I told you she was going to cry."

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