I look around and don't understand
how the hell life changed so quickly
seems like yesterday I was playing with barbies wishing I'd grow up
now I just wish I could go back
back to the days of childhood
to the days where we acted like adults instead of beiong them
acting older to fit in
when in reality we should have stopped and explored the now
when I see my life
I remember how I used to imagine it
school was long since finished
marriage before children
falling in love instead of having my heart stomped on by the one who promised me forever every damned day
I remember middle school like I was there last week
wishing the torment would cease as high school befell us
now I'd give anything to turn around and change how I had been
I often wonder where life would have led me
had I not strayed from the path
I reminice the days where I had all of my friends next to me instead of loosing some in death
things weren't supposed to be this way
we weren't supposed to bury a childhood friend
we weren't supposed to have kids before we were done growing up oursleves
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE BROKEN
my son was supposed to have been brought into a household where his father told him and me 'I LOVE YOU' everyday
he should atleast know his father
I'M A BAD MOM
sometimes I walk away instead of holding him
I can't always handle the nonstop SCREAMING
I wasn't supposed to have a child THIS YOUNG
I wasn't supposed to be another statistic
GONE are the days of hoping for PRINCE CHARMING
HE'S NOT COMING
I used to embrace love
now I fear it
I push it away and hide in the depths of my heart the pain that I feel every time I hear the word
I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOM
I forget alot and I do things wrong
it wasn't supposed to happen this way
it wasn't supposed to be THIS HARD
I was supposed to be in school
we were to supposed to have had it all
the children are our next generation
I for one hope they listen to us the way we ignored our parents
learning from our mistakes
screw live and learn
I wish I hadn't lived half the shit I had
I AM A GOOD MOM
but sometimes I still want to be a child
I AM A STRONG WOMAN
but sometimes I wanna curl up and cry
I AM INDEPENDENT
but sometimes I want to hide in my father's embrace
THIS IS ME
THIS IS WHAT I SEE
THIS IS MY LIFE
I don't know if you agree but all I do know is that this is just the beginning
