A/N: I hope you like it!
all rights reserved
Liz.
~
She sat in her second block class, looking down at the spanish worksheet the teacher had assigned, trying to keep herself composed. Today was going to be hard. Nothing had happened, her morning was perfectly routine. It was just one of those days.
Her partner, Darren, asked her a question, she didn't hear the question. Looking up from her paper she looks over at Darren and says: "Sorry, I didn't hear your question" her voice was small and gentle, no annoyance or sarcasm anywhere in it, but Darren still rolled his eyes and responded in an annoyed tone, "What's the answer to number three?"
She looks down at her paper, she had already done number three.
"it's 'No limpiar la mesa'" She replied, even quieter than before, the blackness was eating more and more of her away by the second.
"Are you sure?" Darren asked, his voice full of doubt.
No, I am not sure, Darren, I will never to sure because i am an idiot and everyday I want to die more and more. She thought to herself, but instead she just responded with a small "Yes" so he would leave her alone.
Class progressed and so did that blackness eating away inside her. It was given a little jump start every time she got a question wrong, or had to push her curly brown hair out of her face so she could see the lesson.
Eventually they were given another worksheet to do in their assigned partners, and she took out a piece of gum, the chewing usually helped calm her, she noticed she only had a few pieces left and made a mental note to buy more.
"Can I have some?" Darren asked, the tone of voice he spoke in made it sound more like a commandment. She glanced at the two pieces left and decided that she should save them for the rest of the day.
"No, I don't have a lot left." Darren looked taken aback at her refusal.
"You have two pieces!" He exclaimed.
"I need it." She said very quietly
"Asshole" He muttered under her breath, and suddenly, at that simple, practically meaningless insult, the blackness broke through the thick wall she had in her brain to keep it back, to contain it so she can maintain her façade, but in reality, that wall wasn't broken, because when something is broken, it implies that it can be fixed, that wall was shattered.
She could feel it reach even the most protected parts of brain as she reached for a bathroom pass, it started to take over as the teacher signed it, and it was quickly succeeding as she sprinted to the bathroom. She ran inside and locked to bathroom door once she made sure it was empty. She splashed cold water of her face, she took deep breaths, she shed several tears, she kicked a stall door, nothing would stop the darkness from taking over. She told herself over and over i will not hurt myself at school. But eventually the urge got to strong, she gave in, pulling up her long sleeved shirt she dug her nails into her forearm, the pain started to chase the thoughts away, the wall started to be rebuilt. She gripped her arm harder, the wall got higher, she dug her nails deeper, the wall got thicker as blood started to bubble up around her nails.
She took her nails out of her arm and grabbed paper towels and pressed them too her wounds until the blood stopped flowing, the she rinsed them in the sink, recomposed herself, and, with a very thin wall, but a wall all the same, she walked back to class.
It was not going to be a good day.
