I'm sorry. I'm sorry I just feel like a worthless pile of shit all the fucking time. I dont even know what I want to be. I don't know if I want to be a fucking man or a fucking woman. Why the fuck is life so miserable and confusing? I have no fucking idea what I wanty to be. I don';t really see myself as a girl, but I just want to empathize with himso fucking badly and it jumbles the fuck out of me. I can't really see myself with woman parts or being called a girls name, I juist want to go through it like he did. I want to fucking know how bad he suffered and tell him I know it all too well. Im sick of just saying that I understand when I can't understand on a physical level. I fucking hate it. If I could wake up tomorrow able to emphasize with him I'd fucking do it. I'm just so fucking vconfused and I hate it. My head is constantly filled with fucking bad thoughts and I don't know where the fuck to turn to. I am so fucking miserable. I wish I could experience this. I wish I could go through this and know what he's feeling. I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid and obsessive compulsive. I wish I knew how I was gonna end up and what the fuck I wanted. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Do I want to be female? Do I see a female? No, I don't know. But sometimes I wish I knew what the fuck he was going through. I really fucking do. I don
