Gone

Alive? Or just breathing?

Nothing is diferent, it was diferent a week ago but now it's the same; I'm here in the shower wondering why am I stil "alive". While I watch the blood running down my legs a tear drops and I start thinking about him, about how he used to be the reason I stopped doing this and about how fast I found out everything that came out of his mouth was just a big pile of crap. How could I have been so stupid? I mean, there's nothing to love in me; I'm ugly, annoying, maleish, weird.... I'm going to stop right here, there's no use in bringing myself down right now, he already brought me as down as I could be. Still, why would he even tell me he liked me? Wanting to have sex with someone doesn't mean you like her so please guys, get it right.
When I got out of the shower I heard my mom shouting from out of the bathroom -are you still alive honey?!. Of course I got that that was supposed to be a joke, unless my mom can hear my thoughts. Even if I knew she was joking she left me thinking, "alive" why does she asked that, of course I'm not, I died years ago, I'm just breathing, walking throw this empty and rotten world without telling anyone anything, cause the day I do, that day, people will know I excist and to be very honest, I don't love the idea. Why? Cause if people know you then all they want to do is bring you down, they need to see you sad for some unexplainable reason.
I went to my room and sat down in my bed, still naked with the razon in my hand; I thought to myself "what's the best way that you can stay invisible forever?" Dying; and I don't mean mental dying, I was pretty dead already, I just had to finish the work...