bando barbie

chapter one.

"let's go fam you always take bare long getting ready!'' I yelled. It was already 4pm, we had to get going if we wanted to actually find some cute things.

it was a warm summer afternoon, so me & my best friend liyah were going to hang out at stratford mall. i needed some new makeup brushes & just a breath of fresh air. ever since classes moved online, i feel like i haven't left my room.

"fine, fine, i'm ready," liyah said, stepping out in a black crop top & jeans paired with a creme jacket. i examined myself once more in the mirror, nervously preeing my white crop top and jeans.

ehh basic, but oh well it's just a casual ting.

the thing about me is, i have very bad social anxiety. i constantly feel insecure, no matter the outfit or environment i'm in. i'm blessed to have my best friend who understands me though. many assume i move "stush", boujie or rude, but in reality my anxiety is constantly eating away at my mind. constantly making me overthink my smallest gestures, conversations and simple existence.

aliyah & i stepped out, locking the door while i booked the cab. 10 minutes later the cab pulled in & we drove out.

"hellooo ladies, where we off too?" asked the friendly cab driver in a thick asian accent.

"just the mall." replied liyah as i smiled. we chatted for 15 minutes before arriving at the mall, we quickly exchanged goodbyes as i rated him a 5 star.

it's so hard to find kind, sociable people nowadays. especially, immigrant adults. i make sure to be extra kind to them, coming from an immigrant household i feel as if i relate to other immigrants. also, although have social anxiety i feel relatively calm when older adults are very outgoing and kind. it reassures me in a way.

now, talking in front of a classroom? that's an entirely different story loool.