north star (knj)

chapter thirty-two

No one else
Is such a beautiful dream, a beautiful dream to me

The Beautiful Dream - George Ezra

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SEPTEMBER 2020

My world bloomed.

The summer passed, and as I had promised, I finished the remaining concerts in my tour. My performances were less stressful now. I didn't view them as a strain, but as a simple farewell to a chapter of my life that had shown me immense grief and yet even more growth. After my last concert in Atlanta, I had collapsed into Hanna and Leo's waiting arms. We went out for a few drinks at a local bar, then returned to the hotel to watch reruns of Parks and Recreation.

Mikka hadn't gotten a goodbye. Only a simmering, seething look over my shoulder.

I learned to be myself over time. Not Lyra Perry, the pop star. Not Lyra Perry, the eldest child who felt burdened by a family legacy she had never asked for. I became the version of myself who was once again content being alone, who enjoyed sitting on the balcony in the morning with a cup of coffee and book. Sometimes, I read. Other times I simply closed my eyes and absorbed the world around me, listening to the sweet melodies of the birds.

It was the best version of me yet - and I knew with bone-deep certainty that I wasn't done growing yet.

Leo's remission continued. Every other week, he had a doctors appointment to check for any lingering tumors or sign of cancer. And each time, he walked into the hospital waiting room after his tests and flashed me the biggest smile, a thumbs up.

And if misery loved company, then success and happiness attracted it twice as strong. Namjoon and the other members of BTS experienced unparalleled accomplishment during the last leg of their world tour. Beyond making profits beyond belief, they gained new fans and recognition with every step. I checked Twitter each night before bed, smiling fondly at their trending news on the top of my feed.

I loved them.

Loved my newfound bliss.

Loved myself.

"There's that smile I've missed so much," a deep voice said in my ear, rolling like sunshine down a meadow.

I grinned, twisting onto my stomach and stretching my limbs out. The boat rocked beneath me, gently lulled by the Mediterranean waves. We were docked off the coast of Greece, surrounded by cerulean blue waters and crisp white rocky islands. Warm, unfiltered sunlight whispered along my skin.

Namjoon propped himself up on an elbow beside me. "What are you thinking about?"

"Thinking about shaving your hair so I don't have to see it anymore," I said, my smile turning mischievous.

He wheezed, hands flying protectively to his hair. "You don't like the blue?" he asked.

"I liked the purple better. Or the silver," I said, tilting my head to the side.

The truth was, I loved the blue on Namjoon - not that he would find that out just yet. The man was too attractive and charming for his own good, and the last thing he needed to know was how much I had replayed their latest "Dynamite" music video solely to see the pastel blue locks.

Namjoon's shoulders dropped. Sounding disappointed, he said, "Oh. I really thought you would like it."

Ugh. Did he have to give me those puppy eyes?

"Okay, fine. You got me, you're still very hot." I raised my eyebrows. "Happy?"

"Maybe..." Namjoon muttered, glancing down at his lap. "Another compliment or two wouldn't hurt, though."