Diary of a Teenage Mom (SEQUEL)

Chapter 2: Sad Sometimes

Dear diary,

    I don't know how I feel really. I know I'm happy, excited, and blessed to be having this baby with the love of my life. But I'm also so worried. We're both still so young. How do I know that it's going to last? That he won't leave while I'm pregnant or after I give birth? What if the baby is too much for him to have to take care of? What if he leaves because he's so young and he has so much going for him that he doesn't want to have to worry about a baby and his girlfriend? I mean, can we make this work? Being so young? Him being so busy? Having his whole life ahead of him while also having the whole world at his disposal? Will he be able to handle it? Will I be able to handle it? Will me make it through? 

  And what about my dad just dying? Stress is bad for the baby, and I'm stressed out enough as it is? But trying to mourn my dead father, while looking after my mother and my baby brother? How do I do that? Without overwhelming myself? Without hurting the baby? It all seems to be too much. 

  But I know that I've made it this far. I've been through hell and back. Hell I nearly died and I survived that, somehow. I know I can make it through this. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I'll force myself to. For me, for my family, for Liam, and most importantly, for this baby. 

                                                                                                             Trying not to drown in emotions, 

                                                                                                                                 Raines

   I sigh and close my diary, putting the pin on top of it and laying it on top of my nightstand. I lay on my bed, hand on my belly, and stare up at the ceiling. I wonder if it'll get any easier. I feel a wet nose nudge my feet and I giggle, looking down at Rocky who just lays his head gently on my feet. He definitely helps get my mind off of all of the bad going on. He's too cute to look at and think about anything else. I was forever grateful for him, and for my family for being so caring and supportive through all of this. 

  Not being around Liam was foreign. Not being around the whole band was foreign and it was something I was still getting used to. Going from touring with them for months, being around them all the time, and seeing them everyday, to not seeing them at all was sort of like getting whiplash and you were still recovering, though it had been about four months since you had returned home for good. You were still growing used to not being pranked, the quietness that came because of the lack of laughter coming from eight different people at once, it was all weird.

  And suddenly, what could only be described as a fluttering feeling in my abdomen caused me to bolt upright in my bed. I press my hand into the lower part of my belly, very gently. I keep applying pressure to different parts and I feel the fluttering again. 

"MOM! MOM COME IN HERE!" I yell. I move my hand around, still applying gentle pressure to my stomach. 

  My mom bursts into my room, a terrified and worried look on her face. 

"What? What is it? Are you okay? Is the baby okay? What's going on?" She rushes up to me, hands on my face, searching me for wounds or anything that could be wrong with me. Instead, I take her hands and place them gently on my stomach, where that weird feeling was.

"Do you feel that?" I ask her, a worried look on my face as I try to read hers, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Her eyes widen as I feel the fluttering continue.