I had been so distracted by the stench of werewolf and, to a lesser extent, Rose's blood that I hadn't heard Kai approach. I jumped through the window the instant the doorknob turned, just in time to see Rosé spin around and feel a burst of panic break through. I really was pushing my luck now. I ran a good distance from the house, far enough away not to cause any undue stress, but not so far as to leave Rosé unguarded. It would take mere seconds for me to come to her aid, if they occasion arose. It didn't.
I waited patiently, straining my senses to catch the activities of the house. Rosé's panic eased into relief, then a surge of happiness. Downstairs I could hear the muffled shouting of SiWon and Kevin, but Rosé and Kai had seemingly decided to stay upstairs. The minutes ticked by, and I found the rest of my unoccupied mind straying to my previous musings. I really couldn't stay here forever; Seulgi was bound to have a vision of me sooner or later. She was so attuned to me that it was almost like a permanent station for her ability. My thoughts trailed on for a good while along this path, until I eventually heard Rosé calling my name.
I sprinted through the trees then leapt up to her window. I wanted to gag, and I would have, although nothing would have come up. I covered my mouth and nose with my hand, glaring around the room, half expecting Kai to still be standing in the corner. Rosé came near me, but I gently pushed her back.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. We were in here the whole time, is it really that bad?" I nodded, not having enough air to breathe, and shot a furtive glance out the window. Rosé looked at me, conflicting emotions flashing across her face. "It's okay if you have to leave for now," she said quietly.
I stared at her, gauging her emotions. She really didn't want me to leave, but with my hesitance I could feel her resolve growing. She began shoving me towards the window, and I let her move me, although I didn't feel a thing. "Look, I'll be okay. One night, big deal." She was trying to convince herself, and I smiled in spite of myself.
I leaned out of the window slightly, taking in a breath of rain-dampened air; it was much better than the smell of her room at the moment. "Sorry about the water," I told her, noticing the little trail I had made with my dripping clothes. "I'll be close." Then I jumped out the window again. Instead of returning to the place I was before, I decided to venture out a little more. I was running along, my body moving automatically, when I found myself at our old house. It was still magnificent, despite the wild weeds that were growing out of control and crawling up the steps to the porch. Seulgi had always been so particular about appearances; she would have hated to see the house in such a state.
I quickly began pulling out the weeds, tossing them into the surrounding forest. It took no more than a few minutes. I walked cautiously towards the house. The door was unlocked, as I had left it this morning, and how Jisoo had left it all those months ago. I stole into the living room, now devoid of most of our earthly possessions. The dining table was still there; it was large and would have been more of a nuisance to move than if we bought a new one. I walked up the stairs for the second time today, taking in the strangeness of the blank walls. It was so empty. And so was the room Seulgi and I shared, except for a dresser, and some of Seulgi's clothes still hanging in the closet.
I walked over to the clothes, each step causing a little ache. I missed her terribly. I ran my hand over one of the sheer fabrics, lifting it up to inhale. Seulgi's scent still saturated the clothing, and I clenched my jaw against the sudden pain I felt in the place where my heart used to beat. I really had no reason not to just go back and see them all again. But then Jisoo's face flashed into my mind, and I came up gasping for air. I hadn't felt such a level of despair coming from him since he had to leave Rosé the first time, when Ben was tracking her. With it came the flood of guilt that I had been holding back. I still cringed to think of my lack of self-control and I sunk to the ground, depressed. If I'd been looking for a reason to avoid my family, well, this was it. There was absolutely no way I could go back to them until I had redeemed myself. If ever I could.
