𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋, ㅤ w.s ✔️

thirty

MESSAGES!

Jan. 6th

wil
hey
seen, 2:48pm

Jan. 7th

wil
Ophelia please tell me your okay
delivered

15 missed calls from wil

wil
Ophelia please i'm worried
seen

wil
Ophelia I know you see my messages

wil
Please answer my calls and texts idk what's going on

wil
I think I'm having a panic attack please ophelia I need to know you're okay.

incoming call from ophelia
answer   decline

IRL!

"Ophelia? Ophelia, wh–"

"Wil," Ophelia's voice was hoarse, tiredness lacing her voice. "Are you okay?"

"Ophelia–" Wilbur choked back a sob. "Are you insane?"

Ophelia went silent.

"You didn't respond to me for days on end, I was so fucking worried."

"I'm–" Ophelia cut herself off. "I'm sorry. I was busy."

"You're always fucking busy." Wilbur bitterly said.

Ophelia was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"Just.." Wilbur stammered. "Nevermind."

"No, tell me what you fucking meant." Ophelia retorted. "Because I know you didn't just fucking say that to me."

"I'm sorry." Wilbur sighed. "I'm just, really, really frustrated."

"You don't think i'm frustrated either?" Ophelia scoffed. "I haven't even been able to have time by myself. I've been up at six am every goddamn day, going to sleep by four am. I barely have any motivation to even keep going."

"What? Speechless?" Ophelia said as she heard Wilbur's silence. "Thought so."

"I have to go." Wilbur quickly said, hanging up. he dropped his phone onto his stomach, letting his head fall against his cold pillow.

Was it actual feelings anymore?

He didn't know. He'd been thinking about it for the past week, yet couldn't bare to come to the conclusion that he didn't love ophelia anymore.

If he told her he didn't love her anymore, that would break her, wouldn't it? She needed support more now than ever, but Wilbur needed to get these horrible thoughts out of his head.

He didn't want to break up with Ophelia. Ophelia was the person who used to make him feel happy, who used to make him feel like it was just the two of them. Used to make him believe that they were going to be together forever.

Used to?

He always thought him and Ophelia were the perfect match, he always did. He always thought that him and Ophelia would be happy together.

He shouldn't be thinking of this.

Nothing had printed these thoughts. Nothing at all. He had just been up late at night lying in bed and they came to him. He tried to force himself to sleep but couldn't.

If he really told Ophelia how he felt, he would feel so much better. The guilt of him leading her on would be gone. but the guilt of leaving her now would eat him inside and out.

But how does he feel? This is all so confusing.

What would he do? Leave her while she's at her lowest? He didn't want to leave her.

No one would of they were him. She's so perfect in his eyes. He loved everything that she hated. Her brunette hair at would be so messy after she let it air dry after a shower, how the stretch marks on the back of her legs went down from her waist to her knees, and how she felt she was too much at times. He adored everything about her, but still couldn't get himself to love her the way he wanted to.

He liked to think about the little things that the two did together.

When it was late at night, he would let Ophelia trace random pictures and words onto his back with her finger. He remembered how Ophelia had him try and guess what she was writing once, and Ophelia would kiss him when he got it right.

Or when they would just sit in silence together on the phone, admiring eachothers features.

Or when Ophelia used to fall asleep on the phone when Wilbur called her as he packed for when he had flew to the us.

He wants more of those memories, but he also doesn't.

He understands that Ophelia is under a lot of stress, he does. He knows how she feels.

But being with her was making it harder for him to make up his mind.

He needed to know how he felt.

He sat, staring at the ceiling in the dark for hours, thinking of how he felt.

It was then that he came to the conclusion that everything he had felt was in the spur of the moment.

It was the only possible answer that made sense to him.

If the feelings he felt with Ophelia were just quick because it was something new, maybe the things he felt now would go away too. Maybe the feelings he had for Ophelia will come back.

Maybe he just missed her touch. That could be it, maybe.

But deep down he knew it just wasn't that. He needed to stop coming up with excuses. He needed to face the truth.

And he needed to tell Ophelia about it soon.