Inside the mind: of a broken soul

Every word you spoke to me just burrows its way into my brain. Like every trembling, heart-breaking sound of regret. You throw daggers of hate toward my mindset. You dance and thrash in self pity. Sometimes i catch myself slipping, i could hear the deep emotion of the pain i feel. I can hear all my demons screaming what would've originally came out of your mouth. The hate, the miscommunication.

Sometimes i would sit my room, alone. Yet, i was alone i could still hear your words bouncing off my ear canals into my brain, and branded. These words won't ever leave. I'm stuck here thinking "am i worth it"? The worst feeling is trying to love someone so much but there's just one thing you can't get passed. Like there's a barrier blocking you. A force field protecting me from getting hurt.

I intend to carry so much on my shoulders that i collapse in the most exhausting emotional way. But, yet you continue to load my shoulders more 'til you watch me fall and breakdown. But, once again it's "always" your fault in some way. I never speak how i feel because you always have it worse. It's a race i don't wanna win.