sentient

We take so many things for granted. Every breath we take, every word we speak, every choice we make. All of it can be taken away so quickly, so effortlessly, in the space between one breath and the next.

Thoughts like these frequented his head quite often, and he had learned to welcome them and jot them down when a particularly memorable one showed up. He imagined them as the universe trying to teach him lessons in its own mysterious ways. However, on some occasions, they were quite unwanted, and this happened to be one of those times. He was going to this ball to answer a question. One he was still not yet sure of the answer to.

The carriage clattered to a stop, and he straightened his lapels and tugged his sleeves down farther before the footman opened the door. A brisk wind met his face as he stepped down onto the cobblestone road, chilling him to the bone and making him wish for the soft breeze of summertime. The murmur of small talk and seductiveness permeated the night air as he walked up the stairs toward the manor's entrance.

He paused momentarily, causing a small disruption in the flow of people entering, and took a deep breath. The reasons, both good and bad, that he was here for raced across his mind. Then he stepped inside.

A new world opened up before his eyes as he entered the ballroom. He stood upon the landing of a grand staircase bordered with sleek marble railings. To his right and left narrow balconies ran around the room, full of archways that peered over onto the ballroom floor. On that floor hundreds of people, men and women, young and old, spun around in circles to the orchestra's music that filled the air. Candles flickered in their braziers on walls and in alcoves around the rectangular room, their flames dancing along with the guests. Their dancing was full of life and enjoyment, bodies moving in time with the rhythm and their partner. Everywhere he looked, happiness seemed to radiate back at him.

Happiness is a fleeting emotion, he thought. Why go through all the trouble if it just fades away in the end, dulled down by the dreariness of life?

Focusing on the reason he had come, he ignored the ladies that fluttered their eyelashes at him and the men that looked him up and down, searching the room instead for the girl whose presence lit up the room.

She was not hard to find, as this was her ball, in her home. In the center of the dance floor, she twirled in a dress the brightest shade of white. Her dark brown hair spun around her as she danced, reflecting the candlelight in a way that made her appear to be otherworldly; like a faerie who had snuck into the human world. Dangerous, but irresistible. She was ethereal, and everyone's eyes couldn't help but follow her throughout the room.

As she danced, people followed her lead, and the orchestra picked up its pace to accommodate her speed. He stood at the top of the stairs, watching her from afar, as the pace grew faster and faster until at last the song ended. The guests, exhausted from the fast-paced dance, moved toward servants holding trays of water to refresh themselves. The girl, however, stayed in place as the others drifted away.

He smiled wistfully to himself, admiring the carefree smile that adorned her face and the way her golden eyes glimmered with life. She stood in the middle of the room, gasping for air and staring up at the ceiling, almost as if she could see the stars through it. As if she could reach out with one hand and grasp a sliver of the moon, just to say she did.

She was always wanting more. Nothing she could attain was ever enough, and she burned through everyone and everything faster than a candle flickers out in a gust of wind. By the time she realized they were gone, she had already moved on to her next adventure. She was dangerous and unstoppable and oh heavens she was beautiful.

As if she could sense his gaze on her, she turned her head slightly and caught sight of him. He knew she realized it was him when the smile he loved so much disappeared.