Bitter

Chapter Twelve

"Fear not death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal."

― Benjamin Franklin

Spencer stood in a building. He was scared for a moment, unsure where he was. He remembered what had happened seemingly only moments before, he felt down his side, tracing the outline of his waist, it seemed as though nothing had happened.

Looking up he looked around to see where he was.

The bullpen? There's Hotch, wait, why is Hotch here. Spencer walked around the desks, looking down at one across from his, perched on the desk was a picture of a man in a military uniform... Elle's dad. Why am I here?

He kept walking, making his way up the steps, stepping into Hotch's office. Inside Hotch stood cradling a baby, and at his side was, Haley? Why is Haley here?

Am I dead?

"No. No you're not Spencer." Hotch said looking up to him. A real smile on his face.

"Haley? You're here?"

"I am. This is Thomas."

Spencer walked over looking at the baby, just like Jack when he was a boy. "Who's his parents?" Spencer questioned.

"He's yours. Well your's and Maeves."

"What? Maeve is here? I have a kid?"

"Yes silly." Spencer whipped his head towards the doorway, his eyes settling on Maeve. Her hair pulled back like he imagined it would be, like it would be on a Sunday morning, filled with pancakes and reading and laughing. "Hi Spencer."

"Maeve." Spencer leapt forward embracing her into a hug, whispering 'I love you' over and over into her neck. "You're here?"

"Yeah I am. I told you I would wait for you. Here, meet Thomas. I hope you don't mind the name, I chose it because of you."

"I love it. I love him." Spencer said staring down at the infant in his arms. "Hi buddy. I'm never gonna leave you." His eyes were filled with tears, almost daring to spill over.

"Hotch, why are you and Haley here?" he said, remembering what happened.

"I'm in surgery. It happened the last time too, I saw Haley but didn't tell the team in fear of being called crazy."

"Does that mean I can't stay?"

"If she keeps working like she is right now, you won't. But I'll always be here, waiting for you." Maeve chimed in, her arm hooked around his waist. Spencer was still holding Thomas, and sat down onto the couch to hug him.

"I always wanted a kid. I never thought it would happen after you died... I'm so sorry. I couldn't save you, I failed you."

"No you didn't, it was my time. She would have done it anyway, you just made the last moments better. And remember, when you're ready I'll be here, waiting for you."

"No, I don't wanna leave, I don't wanna go. I want to stay here with you!"

Spencer gasped and sat up, looking around him, trying to see Maeve or Hotch... Or Thomas. His tears started freely falling as his ears rang. He saw Manon yelling at him to lay down but couldn't hear her. Eventually she just pulled him down, and held him as he cried "Maeve." she didn't ask, probably because she already knew.

"She was there, right there. I could touch her, I did. She had a baby. She had my baby."

"Shh. It's okay Spencer, you'll see her again." Manon didn't pry, even though she wanted to. She knew Maeve was dead, and Spencer had been too for about five minutes. And during that time it was the scardest she had ever been.