Built for Sin: Rebel Souls MC #3

0.01 Bender

I was hundreds of miles from home, at least a two hour ride. I hadn't meant to come this far by myself. Hopefully I hadn't been stupid enough to ride out of non neutral territory.

My head was usually a mess, one too many hits without head protection when I'd been boxing, but it'd been worse since I did what I did.

I killed a woman.

Nathan had ordered it. And it had to be done. Those crazy bitches would have killed Rachel, the club's First Lady.

Honestly, I didn't even remember if it was Stacy or Rain who I'd ended. I'd never killed anyone like that before, straight shot to the head, and especially not a woman.

When Striker had me prisoner in the underground boxing ring, I'd put a couple guys' lights out for good. But that was different. It was kill or be killed.

But now, guilt ate at me.

I'd broken the rule I valued most- never hurt a woman.

And none of my brothers knew how much I was struggling with this. Seal had pulled the other trigger. He seemed to be dealing with it better than I was, but even on a good day he was an emotionless robot, a government trained assassin. If a woman was deemed a threat it didn't go against his code to end her.

Only mine.

And the club's.

But I guess now we were making exceptions when the women were sociopaths and psychopaths and threatened one of our women.

Rightfully so.

Probably.

But that didn't make it any easier.

Seal and I had pulled the triggers while Bear and Tank had been the ones to dispose of the bodies.

It'd been nearly three months. Prez and Rachel had gotten married and were currently on their honeymoon. They'd left Hawk in charge of the club, and watching him flounder had been my only solace in the last few weeks.

Pulling to the shoulder of the highway, I parked my bike and pulled out my burner phone. Luckily there were no missed calls. Hawk would have killed me if he'd needed me and I was this far away.

Looking out over the lookout, I could see mountains and valleys for endless miles. It was a damn good view. But it was too quiet out here all by myself. The quiet let my mind wander, took me back to all those years ago.

No matter how far and how fast I ran I couldn't escape it. I was free now. My body was anyway. But my mind. My mind would never be free from the things that haunted me.

The guys knew as little about my past as I got away with telling them. My fighting history was what sold Hawk's old man on me and gave me a chance to prospect. I'd told him the bare bones of it. He hadn't been President anymore at the time, but he'd still vouched for me.

But nobody knew about the nightmares. That weed wasn't just a hobby but a way to keep them at bay.

All my brothers had come from unstable home lives. It just came with the territory.

And I'm sure mine wasn't worse than some of them but I'd never know.

We weren't known to sit around in a circle trading stories and talking about our feelings.

As much as I tried to fight it, the ride did not keep my mind clear like it usually did.

Instead, I was pulled back twelve years and was a fourteen year old kid all over again. I'd been as big then as I was now, never having gone through those awkward lanky years. I went from a kid covered in baby fat to looking like I was a fully grown man in what seemed like overnight.