Forget Your Mistakes // Jamie Follese

Chapter 22: What I Need is so Far Away

-Ryan-

"You've got to tell her how you feel, man," I told Nash.

We were sitting on the couch on our bus and he had his head in his hands and his elbows were resting on his legs.

He looked up, but not at me, "I can't. She just broke up with her boyfriend. It's too soon."

"If you don't tell her soon enough, some other guy will. I know she likes you, Nash. I can tell. You have to let her know you feel the same about her, or she's just going to move on like she did in middle school," I replied, getting up to get something to eat. I looked over and saw Jamie walking down the small hallway rubbing his eyes.

"Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty," I said, "Didn't expect to see you for another hour."

He yawned, "Whatever, bro."

"Rough night?"

"No, Alex just likes to talk in her sleep."

"Well, you've never said anything about it before. What's up?"

"I don't know. She kept saying something about her dad."

"I thought we were only concerned about her mom finding her?" I wondered outloud.

"I thought so, too," Jamie replied, "But apparently she's worried about her dad. I just don't know why she's never told me.."

I looked at Jamie, "I know she's your girlfriend and you love her, but I also know she's not going to tell you everything that's happened in her past. I don't know anything about her dad. I only know he walked out on her. And if you keep worrying about her like this, you're going to end up doing the same. You can try to bring it up, but if she doesn't want to talk about it then, you need to drop it. Alright, Jamie?" He nodded and I continued, "Good. Now go talk to Nash. I think he might need your advice on something."

-Jamie-

I raised my eyebrows at Ryan, then turned around and saw Nash sitting on the couch. He was obviously bothered by something, but I didn't get why Ryan thought I could help.

"What's up, Nash?" I asked, sitting down beside him.

"Nothing," he replied.

"We both know that's a lie. Now spill. What's bothering you?"

He looked over at me and sighed, "No offense, but I don't really think you'd understand." "Try me."

He looked straight ahead, almost as if he were thinking about how to word it, "Have you ever had feelings for a girl, but you didn't know whether or not she felt the same, and you didn't want to tell her because you thought she would laugh at you?"

"Yes," I replied instantly, "But I told her anyway. I didn't mean to tell her, but I'm happy I did."

Nash looked over at me again, "What do you mean?"

I chuckled, "How else do you think Alex became my girlfriend?" He stared at me, almost blankly, so I continued, "The day I started dating her was the day I found out she would be leaving for New York. I basically yelled 'I love you' when I found out. I regretted it at the time, I won't deny that. But as soon as she told me she felt the same, I felt like I had something to wake up happy to every single day. You're not going to find out whether or not Cady likes you back unless you take the chance, Nash. Get to her before another guy, because I know you'll treat her better than anything."

I got up and went into the bathroom, leaving Nash to decide what he wanted to do. Personally, I was hoping he'd tell her because I didn't want to have to do it.

-Alex-

I had been awake for about 5 minutes now. I heard Ryan's voice coming from the front, but I only heard bits of what he was actually saying. I heard enough to know he was talking about my dad, and then he told Jamie not to push the subject. As I was laying there, I decided I would tell him. The only problem was I didn't know how to word it.

I was only eight when my dad left. But I was old enough to understand that fathers don't normally touch their children the way he did me. I can't just come out and tell Jamie my dad used to beat me. I don't need him thinking he has to help me get through that kind of thing. Yes, it is nice to know that someone knows something very personal about you and wants to help, but there are just some things that just can't be fixed.

Everything that happened with my dad is in the past, and I haven't seen him in over ten years.