Hold Me Together

You could say that God has a sense of humor.

When you lose your parents after you getting mad at them over the silliest things, it seems that He did it on purpose.

That’s the one thing I regret with them. I’ll miss them until the day I die, but life goes on.

Bills to pay, working hard to survive.

Being only 19, and working two jobs, I wonder how I handle.

Maybe it’s to make sure my sister’s life is easier. Or it’s because I want to show my parent’s I won’t slack off. That I can actually work hard in life.

My mother’s words still echo in my mind, I hope you make something of yourself, because what you’re doing disappoints me.

You see I wasn’t always what I’m doing now. I used to drink and party, and never do anything important. My grades were slipping, I was acting out. I don’t know how they dealt with me.

Until one day, they caught me drunk after an all-night party. After a while of slurred yelling, I stormed off. 

I ended up passing out on the foot of my bed, unknowingly the last time I would see then alive.

After soft mummuring, I heard the front door slam before I drifted off into dreamland. They went off to the random dinner party, murmuring their displeasures on the way out.

It’s hard to believe just 10 minutes later, a 16 wheeler came around the edge of 64 a little too fast. 

They said it was painless. Like those bastards knew what is was like.

It was difficult, but I managed to keep myself together for. I don't know why, but since then I haven't been able to cry. I 

It’s been a year and I have been taking care of Meredith ever since.  

I have to be strong for her. For them.

But am I strong enough?