Stringed Up

Chapter 08

As much as Eivor had wished otherwise, time still passed after Ivarr had left.
Before he knew it, spring turned to summer, the young grass and leaves turning a dark green before they faded to reds and oranges once more.
Autumn painted the fields golden as the days slowly started to get colder and shorter.

Eivor still missed Ivarr often but over time his longing faded to a dull ache, one that he mostly pushed to the back of his mind as he worked.
Eivor knew that Ivarr had since reunited with his older brother, Ubba, and just yesterday Randvi had told him that together they had taken Repton.
"The brothers Ragnarsson would be a valuable alliance to our clan", she had concluded her report.
Randvi knew better than most how much Ivarr's departure had pained him.
Many times she had suggested that Eivor take some time of and seek him out but Eivor had refused each time. He had to put his Clan first as much as it hurt.

Sigurd was still missing and Eivor had abandoned his duties for too long already.
But now he had a chance to help his clan and meet Ivarr again.
And still he couldn't find it in himself to agree right away.

But that night Eivor thought back to their last goodbye.

Gentle waves knocked against the wood of their longship as the wind carried it forward.
The crew was asleep but despite the silence, Eivor did not feel at peace.
Tomorrow they would once again reach England's shores, a moment he remembered longing for the first time he had set out to explore this unfamiliar land with his brother.

Now it seemed like this inevitable goodbye. Like looming disaster maybe.

He glanced over at Ivarr, the Dane calmly sharpening his axe in the pale moonlight.
The Ragnarsson had not even hesitated to agree to return to England, dead set on getting his revenge.
And Eivor understood, of course he did. He knew better than anyone else how Ivarr had suffered and he'd do anything in his power to help him make Rhodri pay but he couldn't bear the thought of losing Ivarr in the process.
Eivor quietly moved over to where he sat, taking the axe from his hands and handing him some food instead.
Ivarr smiled slightly, leaning against the older man's side when he offered him his cloak.
"Will you leave for Repton right away?", Eivor asked, placing a kiss on top of Ivarr's head.
Ivarr just nodded.
"My brothers, Ubbe and Halfdan... They must think I'm dead... "

With each stroke of the oars, Eivor's heart grew heavier.
He was conflicted. He wanted to hold on to Ivarr, ask him to stay, tell him that he needed him but on the other he knew that he wasn't worth Ivarr's destiny.
He was lucky enough that the thread of his life had crossed with that of a Ragnarsson.

"Will I ever see you again?" he found himself asking as the Dane got on his horse. He had tried to convince Ivarr to stay just one more night but the Dane had shook his head, telling him that if he stayed this night he'd stay another and another and another. Eivor had wanted to ask if that would be a bad thing but the look on Ivarr's scarred face had been enough to silence him.
"I'd hope so", Ivarr held onto his hand for a moment.
"Thank you, Wolf Kissed. I will never forget what you did for me."

Morning came before Eivor had the chance to close his eyes.
When he rose from his bed, after a few futile attempts to sleep for at least a few hours, Mouse got up from his spot as well, looking at Eivor curiously.
Much to his surprise the wolf had chosen to stay with Norse despite how attached he had become to the Ragnarsson.
Eivor found that he was was glad because in a way it felt as though a part of Ivarr had stayed with him and the wolf had a way of making him feel less lonely.
He petted him gently then left his house to find something to eat.

He was conflicted still, knowing that seeing Ivarr again might just rip open a wound that had only now started to heal.
But maybe, just maybe, seeing the Dane again was worth the pain.
And an alliance between the Ragnarssons and the Raven Clan could indeed be favorable in times of need.
They had influence, so much that most Dane's would follow them into battle without question.

In the end it was the second argument that he offered to Randvi when he drove the dagger into the map, pledging to Ledecesterscire.
He had no doubt that Randvi saw right through him but she merely crossed her arms and raised a judgemental eyebrow.

Eivor offered her an uneasy smile, suddenly feeling rather nervous.
He had spent the better part of a year with Ivarr, had seen him vulnerable, frustrated, angry, sad, happy, hopeless, hopeful, calm, nostalgic, in about any state there was and yet he felt like a small boy about to confess his love to his sweetheart.
Maybe it was the fact that the same amount of time thar they had spent together had passed since they had parted ways that made Eivor so nervous.
Maybe deep down he feared that Ivarr had found someone else, someone that could put him first.

He was a Ragnarsson after all. He could have just about anyone he wanted.

This whole idea had been a mistake, Eivor decided as he got onto his horse early that afternoon. But it was too late to back out now or rather he didnt want to explain to Randvi that he was passing up on a possible alliance because he was scared that Ivarr Ragnarsson had replaced him.