𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧. ✈︎ 𝑱𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒙

one

"try not to kill yourself today."

♡

the young boy with nut brown eyes typed out onto the bright blank screen. the sweat off his back glued to the soft sheets of his king-sized bed, the partner's side home to no one but his endless books and dirty laundry. coffee cups and paper plates scattered across the room along with towers of papers and notebooks. for days lee felix has had himself locked up in his 2 bedroom flat, writer's block chipping away at him. his normal abundance of ideas and alternate worlds occupying his mind withered away.

now he was here, laying stuck to his bed with empty teardrops falling down his swollen cheeks. Blank eyes staring at the cursor as he deletes the same sentence over and over. Phone vibrating uncontrollably, 'probably just hyunjin' he thought to himself, his only friend and at this point, his only connection to the outside working society. the only one that would ever actually notice that felix was gone. besides his agent who's been hounding him relentlessly to finish the book he's been working on for ages. 97% of people who start to write a book never finish, and felix was no exception. peeling himself off his mattress, the blonde finally let a sigh pass his chapped and torn lips. a light sting resonated in his throat from the sudden introduction to air. felix pushed his weight off of the comfort of his bed and stood for the first time in what seemed like weeks. his bones felt like they were breaking, considering they hadn't felt the pressure of his body mass in what seems like an eternity. the blonde boy finally made his way towards the bathroom, being met with a horrific sight. felix looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, and his face was breaking out in patches. he was wearing the same clothes he had taken off his floor 4 days ago and his hair was so greasy you could fry burgers on his scalp.

rubbing the crusts out of his eyes, he listened to the ringtone of his phone for the billionth time that day. why wouldn't everything stop? felix wished in one motion he could evaporate into thin air. without a trace of ever existing. what has he done worth remembering? when he tries to think of the most notable things his life had amounted to he draws a blank. even within the realm of personal goals, felixs contribution lacks. he had never done anything outstanding his whole life, the only trophy ever received was for participation. pitiful. amidst his inner turmoil, felix had clicked the bright green answer button blindly, "WHATTHEFUCK LEE FUCKING FELIX?? IVE BEEN CALLING FOR DAYS, ONCE EVERY HOUR AND YOU ANSWER NOW?" ringing was all his ears picked up as hyunjin screams through the speaker. he hung up. the eyes of the blonde widen in the reflection of the mirror in the realization of what he had just done. he had been ghosting the most persistent and overbearing person he has ever known and then hung up on THE hwang hyunjin mid-sentence. he was as good as gone. knowing his tall dramatic best friend, hyunjin was probably already in his car ready to face the traffic of downtown new york. felixs thumb hovered over the call back button knowing what he had to do. he slowly clicked it with the objective in mind, blurt out an apology before hyunjin could get a word out. his thumb made contact. "i'm so sorry jinnie, i panicked and you were so loud. nothing i could say would excuse the worry i probably put you through all week-" "you sound like shit."

~♡~

no one knew felix better than hyunjin. the average person would be furious right now, that their friend had been ignoring them for the amount of time felix had. but hyunjin was used to it, his friend got like this often. He couldn't blame the blonde either, it's not like he can't control his downward spirals but it kills hyunjin that he can't do a thing to help his best friend. the tall mans head flooded with thoughts as he reached the top of the final flight of stairs in felixs apartment building. the musty smell filling his nose and the damp hallway carpet making him uneasy. hyunjin fiddled with the spare key felix gave him while trying to unlock his front door. finally he opened the door with a creek and... nothing. felix was no where in sight. "felix? felixxx?" the tall man heard a grumble coming from up the stairs in the one and only room planted directly at the top. hyunjin wasted no time matching his way up and swinging open the door. there hyunjins eyes were met with a ball of filth curled up on the floor in a mound of clothes, paper and blankets. the smell made hyunjin want to yomit. "felix...?" at the sound of his name being called the blond popped his head out of the soft comforter wrapped around his body. as soon as felixs eyes met with his best friend he wanted to disappear. he hated having someone he admired so greatly for their ability to say put together and strong, see him at his lowest of lows. but this is hyunjin we're talking about. hyunjin walked up to felix and crouched on the ground, the sadness apparent on his face. "felix... you're killing your self in here." that's all i took for the younger boy to break down. his walls crumbled and his windows smashed, finally letting the flood of salt water tears run down his freckled cheeks. hyunjin wrapped his arms around the blonde and rocked him, hushed him. told him everything will be just fine. as long as hyunjin is here everything will be fine.

~~((♡))~~

not proof read,
word cound: 980